Tag Archives: Confidence

In the New Year, I Will Wear Jeans That Fit

 

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I was trying on jeans the other day.  I found a box with a bunch from years past and I tried them all on.  Every brand was in there.  And every size. All the styles…skinny, flared, boot cut, boyfriend, ripped, cropped, light, dark, stretchy, bedazzled.

They represent all the different phases of my life.  There is the young stage, the mom stage, all the sizes up and down the pregnancy years, the fancy going out jeans, the run around town jeans, the ones you wear with your boots and the ones that can handle heels. Some have been tailored to fit like a glove, others hang low, hand me downs from my husband, ripped and torn and way too roomy.  Some have paint splats from my days of painting furniture.  Some are ripped on purpose, others from wear.

There is no other item of clothing that I love more.  Jeans are my jam.  I feel like myself in jeans.  However, I’ve realized that more times than I care to admit, I have worn jeans that make me feel “not myself”.  Trying on all of these jeans the other day, I realized I’m ready to move on.

I’m not saying I won’t keep them. I will pack them away in a box to pull out when I feel like reminiscing.  I will think of them like a living, fashion photo album.  I will love them and appreciate them but I won’t long to be in them.

I have grown up.  I am wiser and a little wider.  And it’s okay if they no longer fit.

In the new year, I will wear jeans that fit. I will put them on like a comfy blanket and I will be warmed.  I will wear them like a boss with my boots and my big blingy Texas belt buckle.  I will wear jeans that make me feel like me.  The real me.  The 46 year old me.  The one who is brave and kind and thoughtful.  The me that understands where she has been and is joyfully expectant about where she is going.  The peaceful yogi me and the silly, loud, singing at the top of her lungs me.  The me that likes to eat and hike and dance and laugh and travel.  The me that mothers teenagers.  The me that humbly understands how small I am.  The me that knows what needs to be done and can do it.  The obedient me. The rebellious me. Flaws and mistakes and successes and all of it.  I like it.  I own it.  I love me.

I have earned this confidence.

You have too.  You’ve earned the right to shine in whatever fits you.

Let’s do this.  Let’s strut together out into the world.  Confident and courageous. Bold and strong. Let’s show our daughters what aging really looks like.  I can see it now and it’s beautiful.

A bing band of women, walking together arm in arm, worthy and beloved, comfortable in their skin…and their jeans.

© 2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™

 

 

USA! USA!

I saw this on the internet and I thought… “Uh-Oh”

Of course, I love what she says here.  I love it when people talk about God and blessings and glory!

I think it’s a beautiful thing when anyone, anywhere, lifts up the name of God in thanksgiving.  AMEN!

However, I can imagine if you don’t believe in God, you may be thinking, “Really?  I mean, you really think God made her win?”

The answer to that from me is no.  I do not think He made her win.

This prayer explains how I think it works.

An Athlete’s Prayer

Author: Sandy Dow Mapula
 
It was right before the big one and the football player said,
“Excuse me guys for just a sec while I go bow my head.”
And in the quiet of that room
The football player prayed,
“Oh God if nothing hear me now
I know that fate is made.”
 
“So help us Lord to win this game,
It’s the big one, man, you see,
If we lose this game that’s it for us,
Please do this, Lord, for me.”
 
And as his body knelt in prayer,
He looked up to the sky,
“And while I’m here, and have some time,
I need to ask you why?”
 
“They say you never help teams win,
Just do it once I pray,
We will pay you back in kinder deeds
Or in another way,”
 
“The reason why I can’t help you win,”
The Lord just then replied,
“Is as you’re asking me to win,
So is the other side.”
 
“I’m everybody’s father and
I must not take one side,
So games are played all on your own
Or they would all be tied.”
 
“But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pray,”
He answered him with care,
“You can pray that players don’t get hurt
And that all the calls are fair,”
 
And while the player heard this voice,
He bowed his head in prayer,
“I pray for fairness,” said the boy
“And for your tender care.”
 
“You shall be blessed,” the Lord replied,
“Your team and you the same,
And now will you excuse me boy,
I cannot miss this game.”
 

I think God gave Gabby many gifts.  He blessed her with speed and strength and balance and flexibility and the ability to fly.  He blessed her with a mind and heart and soul that are strong enough to withstand rigorous training.  He blessed her with a good coach and a supportive family and a loving host family for when she was training away from home.  I believe God had His hand in making sure she had all the tools she needed to win and then He watched her.  He heard her prayers, he comforted her if she was in pain or in doubt, He listened to what was in her heart and he filled her with hope and confidence.

“I’ve been meditating on scriptures saying ‘be confident in this’. And, you know, the Bible really helps me so I was very confident.”

~Gabby Douglas, U.S. Olympic gold medalist gymnast

See, when you love God and you know He is on your side, you can do anything.  You know you are blessed, you know you are strong, you know you are good enough to win.  It’s a confidence born of faith.  You know it will be okay if you don’t win- you will still feel confident and blessed and strong.  Because who you are doesn’t depend on winning, you relax and end up winning more.  You trust because you know that regardless of the outcome, everything will be okay.

I just heard she signed a $90 million dollar deal and her picture will be on a box of Corn Flakes.  I’d say it’s only just begun for her.  I hope she can stay true to her faith and stay humble in a world that will tempt and taunt and pay to mold her into an “image”.  I think she’s fabulous the way she is now.  For a girl who can literally fly, she seems to have her feet on the ground.  She turned her gifts into gold and she did it with grace.

And they say there are no more role models…

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

The Tween years

It is really difficult being a parent of kids who are in that “Tween” stage. 

My friend asked me for advice on books to read regarding girls and all the social issues that go with being a “Tween” girl.  I responded to her question and she suggested I put it on the blog hoping others might benefit from it.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to do that but I’ve had a few different conversations lately about the social pressures for the “Tween” set and figured maybe it’s helpful for all parents to hear. (This goes for boys too but I wrote it about daughters and I thought putting he/she everywhere would be annoying. But make no mistake, all of this is true for sons as well as daughters.) 

Here it is…

Here’s the thing I’ve learned (and been told by doctors) – if your child feels accepted by her peers, that’s the icing on the cake but what she really needs in order to feel confident is to be accepted by YOU (her family).  The world can be a cruel place but if she comes home and feels safe and loved and accepted, if she can laugh and be authentic and be supported by her family, she will be confident.  (The opposite of this is if she feels her parents think she is weird or different or if they are pressuring her to be friends with people she doesn’t trust or if they are pressuring her to do things she is not comfortable with or if they are making her feel like she is not good enough.)  I would say (and I’m still trying really hard every day to follow this advice) to listen to her and then listen to her more and validate her feelings.  I wish I could take back all the times I said, “Oh, that’s ridiculous.” or “Why aren’t you doing what they are doing?”  I’m sure she could feel the times when I was wondering why she wasn’t doing what everyone else was doing.  I wish I would have been present in the moment, listened, and said, “that must be difficult” or “I’m sorry you are feeling sad.”  

The other thing I’ve learned is to trust my daughters.There’s nothing better in the world than feeling like your mom has “got your back”.  Trust that you have set a good example and taught her how to be kind and that all of that will show up in her.  That she has the ability to make good decisions and that when she tells you someone is “not nice” and she doesn’t want to be with her, to just trust her and her reasons.  They need us to choose them.  They are ours.  We have to be on their side.  That gives them confidence.   

I have no doubt that I will struggle with these questions for my whole life.  I don’t pretend to have any answers, just ideas to help you avoid some of the regrets I have.  The best advice I have is to pray, pray, pray.  There is a whole series of books about the “power of the praying____” and the “Power of the Praying Parent” is great. 

I find it necessary to retreat from the crowds-the neighbors, friends and schoolmates-every once in awhile.  To have time that’s sacred for family.  To rest.  Read to her in bed, snuggle, watch tv, make pancakes. They are under tremendous pressure to perform in every way. Stay focused on her and don’t concern yourself with anyone else.  She is your priority.  She is invaluable and your greatest gift.  Tell her that…everyday! And trust yourself.  Who wouldn’t be confident when they know a mom like you is on her side?