Tag Archives: friends

In the New Year, I Will Wear Jeans That Fit

 

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I was trying on jeans the other day.  I found a box with a bunch from years past and I tried them all on.  Every brand was in there.  And every size. All the styles…skinny, flared, boot cut, boyfriend, ripped, cropped, light, dark, stretchy, bedazzled.

They represent all the different phases of my life.  There is the young stage, the mom stage, all the sizes up and down the pregnancy years, the fancy going out jeans, the run around town jeans, the ones you wear with your boots and the ones that can handle heels. Some have been tailored to fit like a glove, others hang low, hand me downs from my husband, ripped and torn and way too roomy.  Some have paint splats from my days of painting furniture.  Some are ripped on purpose, others from wear.

There is no other item of clothing that I love more.  Jeans are my jam.  I feel like myself in jeans.  However, I’ve realized that more times than I care to admit, I have worn jeans that make me feel “not myself”.  Trying on all of these jeans the other day, I realized I’m ready to move on.

I’m not saying I won’t keep them. I will pack them away in a box to pull out when I feel like reminiscing.  I will think of them like a living, fashion photo album.  I will love them and appreciate them but I won’t long to be in them.

I have grown up.  I am wiser and a little wider.  And it’s okay if they no longer fit.

In the new year, I will wear jeans that fit. I will put them on like a comfy blanket and I will be warmed.  I will wear them like a boss with my boots and my big blingy Texas belt buckle.  I will wear jeans that make me feel like me.  The real me.  The 46 year old me.  The one who is brave and kind and thoughtful.  The me that understands where she has been and is joyfully expectant about where she is going.  The peaceful yogi me and the silly, loud, singing at the top of her lungs me.  The me that likes to eat and hike and dance and laugh and travel.  The me that mothers teenagers.  The me that humbly understands how small I am.  The me that knows what needs to be done and can do it.  The obedient me. The rebellious me. Flaws and mistakes and successes and all of it.  I like it.  I own it.  I love me.

I have earned this confidence.

You have too.  You’ve earned the right to shine in whatever fits you.

Let’s do this.  Let’s strut together out into the world.  Confident and courageous. Bold and strong. Let’s show our daughters what aging really looks like.  I can see it now and it’s beautiful.

A bing band of women, walking together arm in arm, worthy and beloved, comfortable in their skin…and their jeans.

© 2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™

 

 

You Get Wise, You Get to Church!

community october

 

My husband loves to quote movies. Thus, the title of this post.  Can anyone tell me who said it? Or what movie it’s from?

We get lots of advice from people, don’t we?  Solicited, Unsolicited…it doesn’t matter, some people just like to advise.  Let’s be honest, we have all been given some bad advice over the years.  If we are really honest, we have to admit we’ve likely also offered some bad advice.

Someone told me once that you should be careful who you hang around with because you will start to become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Hmmm…that got me thinking.

My husband and I are attending a class at church and one of the pastors explained it like this…We are all playing along, living our lives, grading ourselves on our holiness, assuming we are getting about a B.  If we are super prideful, we may actually believe we are getting an A.  We are following rules, we are “religious”, we are successful in the world’s eyes, we don’t see any overt sin in our lives (usually because we are avoiding seeing it).  We compare ourselves with others and we come out on top…”At least I’m not as bad as that guy!” We may give money to charitable causes and maybe we serve a little but out of duty.  Or maybe we do feel a passion to serve and we are doing and saying all the right things.  We go to church but we are not necessarily living transformed lives.  We look past that though and drift along, showing up in all the right places. We give ourselves high marks for things we think are “holy”.  We deem ourselves, “pretty good”, maybe a B- or a C plus.  Most of us know better than to say we are an A.  We may think it but we know we should be humble because we learned that in Sunday school, so we give ourselves a B while patting ourselves on the back for our humility.

Meanwhile, the Bible tells us that we are sinners in need of a Savior. The Bible says that keeping the law is not what’s important.  James 2:10 tells us “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.” I don’t know about you but I know I’m not capable of keeping all of the Laws in the Bible.  I’m working on the Big 10.

So the pastor had written a bunch of grades on the board…A, B-, C…and then he put a slash through all of them and said, “Actually, we are all getting an F”. And there was a big red F on the board. Now for someone like me who is a rule follower, this does not sit well.  I have spent my life doing what I’m told, caring about rules, following God’s commandments, going to church, taking communion, praying, writing, speaking and yoga-ing for Jesus.  The sting of this truth revealed my heart.  I was trying to be “good enough” for God. I believed I was about a B. I was performing and striving and hoping and praying that my “works” would please Him.  Maybe you do this too? Maybe you’ve been fighting to be an A and when you feel like a C, despair sets in. Friends, that despair is not from the Lord.  The Lord offers hope.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” – John 3:16

“For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.” – Romans 8:3

See, God knows us and loves us and sent His son to save us.  Picture that report card with an F on it.  When Jesus came, it miraculously changed into an A. He wiped our slate clean. This is the good news.  This is the Gospel.

The toughest part of this for some is not believing that Jesus came or that God loves us or that the sacrifice on the cross was for us…the toughest part for some of us is admitting that we cannot do it alone. We don’t believe the F.   It’s difficult to admit our own weakness and need for a Savior.  But it is necessary.  If you could do it alone, Jesus’s life and death would mean nothing.

Some people in our lives, some of our “teachers” will tell us we are a B, we are “doing great”, we should just work harder, do more, give more and then we will be enough. But the wise teachers will tell us about the one who hands out the A’s.  Our wise teachers will lead us the the only One who can give us a passing grade.

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9

I told someone once that I am a sinner saved by grace and she looked at me and said, “Yeah, right. What have you ever done wrong?”  Isn’t that just like us? We assume other people have it all together.  We look at our shortcomings but speculate that others have none. Y’all.  For real. We are all sinners. We can dress ourselves up and shellack the heck out of our lives but underneath, we all struggle with sin.

This is not fun to talk about.  That’s why we don’t. But once we get past this part…this conviction and repentance part…we get to grace.  Grace gives the A. Grace graduates us.

Surround yourself with truth tellers. People who will lead you to the Master Teacher.  People who will lovingly and tenderly call you out on your junk. Friends, we are all jacked up. You, me and all our neighbors, pastors, priests, teachers, politicians, leaders.  Don’t look to the right and left and think “they have no sin” or “I have no sin compared to them”. Jesus is the only one without sin.  As for us, we are all in the same boat…we are all castaways in need of rope.

Let Jesus be your teacher.  Spend time with Him.  Make Him the one you spend the most time with. As for your 5?  Hang around with people who point you to Him.

I look forward to seeing you all in our caps and gowns on graduation day…humbled and grateful for the way He handed out A’s.  All of us, incredulous at our good fortune, knowing the courses were tough and we could not have passed if not for Him.

©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved