Tag Archives: friends


I love boys…and men. 

I love their sense of wonder and their curiousity.  I love their sense of adventure. 

I have two older brothers and I think their way of looking at things affected my way of looking at things.  There isn’t a lot of room for drama with boys.  There isn’t a lot of soul searching and talking for hours about feelings.  Some women bemoan this.  I welcome it. 

I have enough going on in my own mind and heart to keep me busy for a lifetime with the soul searching.  Not to mention all my friends and our hours of talking through the details of life.  Sometimes I just want to laugh.  Or go tubing.  Or watch someone light off fireworks.  Or drink a beer.  Or ride in a boat.  Or fish.  Or just sit there.

I think a lot of women are always wondering “What is he thinking?” or “What is he worried about?”  The answer to both those questions is “Nothing”.  He’s just chillin’.  Maybe he’s thinking about what’s for dinner or where he can get more fireworks or if there’s enough beer in the fridge, but really, he’s happy just “being”. 

This is not to say men don’t have feelings or don’t worry.  Obviously, they do.  But when it’s time to relax and have fun, they know how to do it. 

And we could learn a lot from them about being a friend.  I’ve seen it with my son and my husband.  Whoever is in the vicinity, is a friend.  If you are near water or playing sports, everyone is included and encouraged.  There is no hidden agenda or passive aggressive power plays.  They make friends with total strangers because they are sitting by them at a game or in line with them for the diving board. 

If you are a guy and acting like a jerk, the other guys will tell you so to your face.  Maybe you’ll get punched or tackled or  teased but it’s out there and then it’s over.  You know where everyone stands. 

My son is 9 and sometimes I hear him and his friends yelling at each other while playing Wii or Xbox.  They are shouting and yelling and teasing.  When I ask if everything’s okay, they look at me like, “What are you talking about? We are having fun!”

As for loyalty and supportiveness, my husband is king.  If someone has wronged me or made me feel bad, he’s right on my side with the, “Who cares?  Seriously…I love you, you’re great, forget it.”  End of story.  We don’t need to talk for hours about it.  He’s got my back.

The other day I was pacing around the kitchen, not sure what to do with myself and I told my son I wasn’t sure what to do, there were so many things on the to-do list.  He said, “Mom, do what you want to do…it’s summer!” (Like, Duh…enjoy yourself!)

I love the way they just are what they are.  They’re comfortable in their own skin. They are not worrying about what they look like in their bathing suit or if their lunch has too many carbs.  They are eating their cheeseburger and fries and drinking a beer with their shirt off, laughing and ordering dessert.  It’s refreshing. 

Sometimes at parties, I like to head over to see what the boys are doing.  I like it there.  I don’t have to talk.  I can just chill and laugh.  No worries, I know they’ve got my back.

©2011 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

Carbonated holiness

Laughter is carbonated holiness.

                        -Anne Lamont

Great line, huh?

I’m sure you are like me and you have certain friends you that make you laugh.  When you think of them right now, you’re smiling, right? How great is that?  What gifts they have given you…laughter, happy memories, fun. 

What about the people who are good listeners?  How do you feel when you think of them?  Comforted and understood.  What gifts they have given you…attention, understanding, kindness.

What about the friends that take care of things for you? They bring a meal, lend a hand, say a prayer.  They take your kids for a day, they remember your birthday, they bring food to your parties.  You think of them and you feel taken care of.  You are nurtured.  What gifts they have given you…generosity, assistance, support.

What about the friends that go places with you?  They have fun ideas, they plan outings, they are willing to try a new restaurant, a new movie, a new vacation spot.  When you think of them, you feel excitement and anticipation.  What gifts they have given you…enthusiasm, companionship.

What about the friends that are lifelong friends?  When you think of them, you feel like they are family, your stories are intertwined, they have “been there” for you through all of life’s ups and downs.  What gifts they have given you…loyalty and history.

All of these friends have brought “holiness” into your life in one way or another.  What is holiness?  I believe it’s everything that makes up our lives.  There is no part of our life where God is absent so isn’t it all holy in some way? 

What kind of “holiness” are you sharing with your friends?

 Sometimes people get the mistaken notion that spirituality is a separate department of life, the penthouse of existence. But rightly understood, it is a vital awareness that pervades all realms of our being.

-Brother David Steindl-Rast