I made a huge discovery the other day that I have to share with you.
I am taking the training for Kids Holy Yoga. We have been talking about play and how important it is. One of our assignments was to play for 20 minutes.
Oh my gosh this was eye opening!
I decided to swim. It’s October but I live in Texas and we have a pool and it’s 94 degrees so…why not?
Picture this…it’s mid-day and I decide to put on my swimsuit and frolic in the pool for no reason but to play. To say this felt weird is an understatement. I was thinking, “What if someone stops by?” I felt like I was wasting time. I had no purpose. My mind was telling me, “Just swim some laps so you can count this as exercise”.
You guys. When did this happen?
When did I start needing to account for every minute of the day? Why was I in the pool feeling like I should be doing laundry or at least reading a book or something. Weren’t there colleges to research and wasn’t there grocery shopping to be done? HOW WERE MY KIDS GOING TO TURN OUT IF THEY FOUND OUT THEIR MOM WENT SWIMMING ALONE MID-DAY????
Honestly. When did I become the party pooper?
So, I forced myself and started shooting some hoops. I am so bad. I can’t make a basket to save my life regardless of the fact I played center in junior high and my dad called me Kareem.
I swam a little and immediately became winded so I started doing handstands and talking to myself under water…”Scooby Doo”…Did you do that? Say things underwater to your friends and make them guess what you said? We had categories. I was playing TV shows. By myself.
I did some flips but my ears filled up with water so I stopped.
At one point I chuckled to myself thinking about how long it had been since I just played for no reason. How long it had been since I had gone in the pool with no regard for how my thighs looked or if my hair was going to get gross or if getting wet was worth it because then I have to shower and get dressed again.
When did this happen?
I sidelined myself years ago.
If I was doing something active, it was for a work out. I would walk or run or go the gym. I went because it was good for me and I wanted to stay healthy. I wouldn’t say any of that was “fun”. Even my yoga, that I love so much, had become a “have to” in my mind. I was thinking of it from a “teaching” perspective and I forgot how much I enjoy it.
How does this happen?
I had seen my husband go up on the side of the hot tub and slide down into the pool. There is no slide, he just made up something fun, imagine that? (Side note: He has not sidelined himself. Ever. He puts on his swimsuit every day after work and jumps in. He likes the back runs of the ski mountain. He’s gone sky diving. Friends that went to Mexico with us can attest to the fact that he likes to jump off cliffs and now in Texas, he’s taking up hunting and fishing. If there’s a game or activity happening, he is in. Is this a gender thing?) Anyway, I went in the hot tub and then slid into the pool. It was fun and refreshing and I startled myself thinking, “I want to do that again!”
When my husband came home and saw a beach towel out and the basketball in the pool he started asking the kids…Did you swim today? They were like, “No, mom did.” He was incredulous. And envious. He kept saying, “I always want you to swim with me. Why don’t you swim with me?”
Ugh. Why don’t I? What the heck have I been doing? Was I too busy to have fun? Is he thinking…”Where is the fun girl I married?!?!”
I tried to hold my breath and swim across the pool under water without coming up for air. It reminded me of the many long summer days spent in the pool. Hours and hours of mindless fun, pruny skin and green hair. We would leave the pool sun drenched and exhausted. The next day we would ride our bikes in a pack to do it again. The pool always signified freedom. Summer. Friends. Long lazy days of nothing.
I’m convinced God can do amazing things in those lazy days. He is the author of freedom.
We spend all this time reading and writing and working and studying and striving and not wasting a precious minute…and yet, He beckons…put that down, come outside, swim with me. I want to see you laugh and play and be free.
Yesterday, I said “Yes” and I could feel His delight.
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