Tag Archives: Prayers

The Gift I Really Want for Mother’s Day

 

Mother’s Day has me looking through old photographs, reminiscing.  My kids are older now, 19, 17 and 14. They aren’t thrilled to have their picture taken. I have so many good ones from when they were kids.  I love the pictures of them all together, the way they hang on each other, lean in to one another and show up as a team.  That’s a mother’s heart, right? That her kids would support one another and walk together through life. I was thinking about Mother’s Day and what I really want.  I think we all really want reassurance that the way we mother and have mothered is good enough.  We want a nod from the future telling us it’s all going to be okay.  We want to know the kids are alright. Amen?

So, here’s my letter to my kids this year about what I really want for Mother’s Day.

Don’t worry about getting me a trinket for Mother’s Day. Here is my heart’s desire.

I pray that you like yourself. That you feel content in the deepest recesses of your heart. That you know how loved, how wanted, how cherished you are. That you live fully and love deeply and spill kindness out of your pores. That God’s light would wrap you up and keep you warm and propel you to shine. I pray you show up with every ounce of your being. That you love honestly and with integrity and with purpose. That people leave your presence feeling good about themselves…that you have a generous spirit.  That you will greet each day as an adventure and an opportunity and that even in the boring and tough days you will laugh and see it all unfolding as it should.

Will you gift this to me? Are you willing to acknowledge this dream of mine? This longing in my heart? Will you live your life…full, authentic, honest, expectant and joyous? That’s what I want.

I want to know that my mistakes and blunders and outbursts only added flashes of temporary color to the memories but no permanent stain. That in my humanness you witness a redeemed soul, far from perfect but living real…my heart set on being better every day. That you receive life as a gift. Precious but not too much so. That you allow yourself to get dirty and take the tough knocks and come out standing, victorious. I pray you jump in the puddles and dance on the table and laugh with abandon. I pray that you listen intently and stay awake to the world while staying apart from it in your heart, careful to not be snared into foolish traps. I pray you find stillness and contentment and joy. I pray that grace would lead in your language and your actions. That faith will always be your cornerstone…deep abiding trust that all is well.

That is what I want for Mother’s Day.

I want you…fully alive and present for the life that awaits you.

This is your gift to me.

 

 

©2017 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big YES™ All Rights Reserved

Nothing is Wasted

Nothing is wasted, she said.

I just looked at her like she was crazy since it seemed so disjointed, this life of mine.

Classes and books and studying…for what? I think sometimes. The yoga and the workshops and the working out. The running and the striving and the working to be all things.

I see you, He assures me.

The Bibles, so many and the studies I can’t keep straight, my fingers clumsily looking at the table of contents to see how to get to where all the others already are. Lost again but seeking. Searching. No map for me, the path is hidden, only the next step appears miraculously before the abyss.  I think I’m the first until I notice the muddy indentation from the soles (souls?) that preceded me.

Fragments of grace. Pieces of Holy. I cling tightly to hope.

He shows me the next step.

I say yes. Not knowing why but trusting that the invitation has been offered by the One who sees the big picture.

All of the writers and thinkers and philosophers and musicians…the hours spent talking about ideas and dreams…imagining. College days filled with beer and breadsticks and friends who left home for the first time. All the wondering and wandering.

The people…the anticipatory hello and the sometimes hasty good bye.  Other times the final touch lingering, painful and difficult to forget.  Scars…battle wounds for being real I guess.

Brennan Manning says, “In love’s service only wounded soldiers can serve.”

The wounds are not wasted.

Fear and panic born from destiny’s appointment with a gunman. A desperate soul in need passing his fear onto me rendering me useless. Paralyzed. Afraid.

Doctors and prayers and the Great Healer leading me to breath.

Breath leading me to life again.

Fear not, He tells me.

Marriage and babies and toddlers and teens all needing their own library to tell their story.

And the dance goes on.

My doubt…His reassurance.

My fear…His freedom.

My sickness…His healing.

My following…His leading.

My trust…His abundance.

Nothing is wasted.

romans 8-28

©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here We Go Again

Last year I wrote a post on the first day of high school for my daughter.  We survived the first year. So of course there are new things I hope for her and for my other kids which we can get to later.  Today, I’m posting the letter again in case you missed it or in case you have a child beginning high school this year.  It was from my heart and every word still holds true.  I think it’s a good way to start.

 Letter to My Daughter on her First Day of High School*

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I woke up this morning thinking “Where did the time go?”

I remember the day you were born.  Well, actually, I’ll be honest, it’s a blur.  After being induced and then going through 24 hours of labor, I was exhausted.  And then upon seeing you, I was exhilarated… and scared…and overwhelmed.  I felt a keen sense of “everything is different now”.  I felt blessed and terrified.

I realize now, that’s what parenting feels like.  You alternate between feeling blessed and terrified.

And on your first day of high school, that describes my emotional state.

First, I want to thank you.  You have taught me so much.  I am certain now that God uses children to shape and form and teach us.  You have taught me and you continue to do so.  I am humbled and honored to be your mom.

As you enter those halls filled with thousands of other high schoolers there are some things I want  you to know.  Since you act mortified when I try to sit you down to “talk”, I figured I’d write instead and you can read it when you want to.  Plus, I don’t have time to put you in the car and drive around which seems to be the only place we can have a meaningful conversation.

Here’s what I want you to know.

There are days that will be fun and exciting and days that will really stink.  And this is okay.  It is all part of growing up and becoming who you are meant to be.  We cannot enjoy the mountaintop without the climb.

If you are going through tough times, remember, there is always hope.   There is a rainbow waiting for you at the end of the storm.  Always have faith.

Whatever is happening to you, matters to me and dad and it matters to God.  Talk to us.  You are never alone.

Sometimes people are nice and sometimes they are mean.  This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.  Stay nice.

Boys that are cute on the outside aren’t always so cute on the inside.  Trust your instincts.  Character matters.  If you feel something’s not right, it’s not.  Go with your gut.

Drugs are bad.  I say it every day and I know you are rolling your eyes right now but I’m serious.  Don’t even try them.  Say no.  Say it again.  Say it louder.  You are precious and your body and mind and soul will be destroyed by drugs.  Don’t even start.  Don’t even try.  If you see them in the room, leave.  This cannot be emphasized enough.  I don’t care if you need to blame me and make up outlandish excuses to get out of there – leave…run.  On that note, anyone who offers you drugs is not your friend.  End of story.

There will be all kinds of people at high school.  This will give you a glimpse of what the world feels like.  There will be lots of new faces and you will be tempted to compare yourself to others.  Don’t do it.  Comparison is the tool of the devil.  See, the fact is, there is no comparison.  Each person is unique and beautiful and created by God who loves them.  We come in all shapes and sizes…we excel in different things…we have different gifts but we are all important and vital parts of this world.  We were created for a reason and God has great plans for us.  We can’t compare ourselves because our journeys are so different.  It’s like a giant puzzle…we all look different but without one of us, the big picture would not be complete.

You have to try.  You have to try to get good grades, you have to try to make friends, you have to try to get involved, you have to try.  You have to put yourself out there to grow.  You cannot wait for life to come to you, you have to go out and get it.  This can be scary but the more you do it, the easier it gets.  Get out there…opportunities await.

Have fun.  There is no rush to grow up.  Laugh, meet new people, listen and engage.  In every situation, there is some way to eek a little fun out of it…even math class.  Life is what you bring to it so bring joy.

Believe in yourself.  This sounds trite but it’s true.  I believe in you, Dad believes in you, God believes in you but what really matters is that you believe in you.  When you believe you deserve great things, the universe will conspire to give them to you.  When you pray for good things with the expectation that they will happen, God will hear you and answer you.

I’ve heard it said that we should pray BOLD PRAYERS – that we should not ask for a C, we should ask for an A.   So here’s my bold prayer for you.

Lord, I ask for great things for my daughter…I do not ask for her to just “get by” and “do okay”.  I ask that you bless her abundantly.  I ask that you give her strength and courage and determination.  I ask that you give her eyes to see her own beauty and the beauty in the world around her.  I ask that you put her in situations that are positive and life affirming and that you give her the right words and the right actions to succeed and to thrive.  I ask for good people in her life…good friends, kind classmates, and inspiring teachers.  I ask for teachers that can light a fire in her heart and soul and make her want to shine.  I ask for teachers that understand and encourage and inspire.  Be with her.  Give her signs to know you are with her.  Burrow deep into her heart so she knows she belongs to you.  Protect her.  I ask for all of these things with the expectation that you will provide.  I trust you.

Oh, and Lord, before I end this…thank you.  Thank you for the gift of my daughter.  Thanks for knowing I need her and she needs me.  Thanks for putting us together. 

*originally posted 8/19/2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes  All Rights Reserved
©2013 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes  All Rights Reserved