It’s a rainy day and I’m weepy.
It all started in the car. I was driving my oldest daughter to school. The song, “I Bet My Life” by Imagine Dragons came on the radio. It’s about a strained relationship with parents. There was a part in there that just tore my heart out:
I know I took the path that you would never want for me
I know I let you down, didn’t I?
So many sleepless nights
Where you were waiting up on me
Well I’m just a slave unto the night
Now remember when I told you that’s the last you’ll see of me
Remember when I broke you down to tears
I know I took the path that you would never want for me
I gave you hell through all the years
The song goes on to talk about forgiveness and he sings, “There’s you in everything I do”. He realizes later what his parents gave him. He can bet his life on them.
I love a happy ending but sometimes the beginning and middle are brutal. In songs and in life.
My daughter saw that I was crying and she said, “Mom, don’t cry.”
I tried to pull it together until she got out of the car.
Once she was out, I started crying again. Thinking about all the ways our children leave us. Thinking about all the times they leave. Even if they did not, “give us hell” there is no doubt we’ve had some sleepless nights.
College is coming up and she and I have different ideas about what this means. She said to me, “Mom, you gotta trust me. I’m supposed to go.”
Don’t get me wrong, I know she is supposed to go. I went. People go. I get it.
It was the “Mom, you gotta trust me” part.
Just like in the song, it’s all a journey right?
I read a review of the lyrics and people were commenting that this song could be describing our walk with Jesus. Our rebellion and our path back.
Every story is about redemption.
But to get to that place, we have to leave this place. And these people.
And even when I know it’s right…it breaks my heart.
©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved