Tag Archives: destiny

My Joy Story

stars light up the night. big Texas sky covers us graciously. tucking us in for a story. campfire burns. we stare. mesmerized by light and warmth. notes play as voices sing. sharing loss and desire. we understand each other.  universal stories. contentment.  joyful noise.

he reaches out for my hand as we walk. stomach flutters. unsure of what’s next. heart beating in my throat. hoping he’ll tell me who he is. what he loves. where he hurts. eager to be let in. listening intently. story unfolding. joy coming.

bright lights. lots of people. noise. doctors racing. nurses talking. my feet are cold. searing pain. fear. hurry. worry. wait. wonder. why. there will be no cry they say. do not be afraid. clean out mouth and take away…trusting. listening. it’s okay they say. scared. mom? who is here? what time is it? so much pain. hear a cry. relief. tears. laughter. joy delivered.

big tree with tire swing. golf carts and trampoline. bikes against the fence. hoop too high for me. brother lifts me. leaves crunch. hide and seek. running. pool. stories. who said what. who did what. who do you like. where are you going. friends.laughter. long lazy days of summer. joy remembered.

entering in. unrolling my mat. chanting om. movement. breath. meditation. inner journey. awakening. light. calm. peace. community. safety. wellness. health. grace. prayer. new life. joyful freedom.

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These are just some of my Joy Stories.  I have asked God to give me more joy in my original design..more joy in who He has made me to be…more joy in my unique story. I’ll be looking back and looking ahead with joy this year.  I will be praying for eyes to see and ears to hear the joy that is around me in the present moment.  I will be celebrating the way joy continues to show up.

Joy is our birthright and our destiny.  We must claim it.  Own it.

Do you see it? Did you feel it? Can you remember it?

Where do you find joy?

Let’s tell that story.

We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. -Psalm 126:2

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Nothing is Wasted

Nothing is wasted, she said.

I just looked at her like she was crazy since it seemed so disjointed, this life of mine.

Classes and books and studying…for what? I think sometimes. The yoga and the workshops and the working out. The running and the striving and the working to be all things.

I see you, He assures me.

The Bibles, so many and the studies I can’t keep straight, my fingers clumsily looking at the table of contents to see how to get to where all the others already are. Lost again but seeking. Searching. No map for me, the path is hidden, only the next step appears miraculously before the abyss.  I think I’m the first until I notice the muddy indentation from the soles (souls?) that preceded me.

Fragments of grace. Pieces of Holy. I cling tightly to hope.

He shows me the next step.

I say yes. Not knowing why but trusting that the invitation has been offered by the One who sees the big picture.

All of the writers and thinkers and philosophers and musicians…the hours spent talking about ideas and dreams…imagining. College days filled with beer and breadsticks and friends who left home for the first time. All the wondering and wandering.

The people…the anticipatory hello and the sometimes hasty good bye.  Other times the final touch lingering, painful and difficult to forget.  Scars…battle wounds for being real I guess.

Brennan Manning says, “In love’s service only wounded soldiers can serve.”

The wounds are not wasted.

Fear and panic born from destiny’s appointment with a gunman. A desperate soul in need passing his fear onto me rendering me useless. Paralyzed. Afraid.

Doctors and prayers and the Great Healer leading me to breath.

Breath leading me to life again.

Fear not, He tells me.

Marriage and babies and toddlers and teens all needing their own library to tell their story.

And the dance goes on.

My doubt…His reassurance.

My fear…His freedom.

My sickness…His healing.

My following…His leading.

My trust…His abundance.

Nothing is wasted.

romans 8-28

©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved