Tag Archives: wise

In the New Year, I Will Wear Jeans That Fit




I was trying on jeans the other day.  I found a box with a bunch from years past and I tried them all on.  Every brand was in there.  And every size. All the styles…skinny, flared, boot cut, boyfriend, ripped, cropped, light, dark, stretchy, bedazzled.

They represent all the different phases of my life.  There is the young stage, the mom stage, all the sizes up and down the pregnancy years, the fancy going out jeans, the run around town jeans, the ones you wear with your boots and the ones that can handle heels. Some have been tailored to fit like a glove, others hang low, hand me downs from my husband, ripped and torn and way too roomy.  Some have paint splats from my days of painting furniture.  Some are ripped on purpose, others from wear.

There is no other item of clothing that I love more.  Jeans are my jam.  I feel like myself in jeans.  However, I’ve realized that more times than I care to admit, I have worn jeans that make me feel “not myself”.  Trying on all of these jeans the other day, I realized I’m ready to move on.

I’m not saying I won’t keep them. I will pack them away in a box to pull out when I feel like reminiscing.  I will think of them like a living, fashion photo album.  I will love them and appreciate them but I won’t long to be in them.

I have grown up.  I am wiser and a little wider.  And it’s okay if they no longer fit.

In the new year, I will wear jeans that fit. I will put them on like a comfy blanket and I will be warmed.  I will wear them like a boss with my boots and my big blingy Texas belt buckle.  I will wear jeans that make me feel like me.  The real me.  The 46 year old me.  The one who is brave and kind and thoughtful.  The me that understands where she has been and is joyfully expectant about where she is going.  The peaceful yogi me and the silly, loud, singing at the top of her lungs me.  The me that likes to eat and hike and dance and laugh and travel.  The me that mothers teenagers.  The me that humbly understands how small I am.  The me that knows what needs to be done and can do it.  The obedient me. The rebellious me. Flaws and mistakes and successes and all of it.  I like it.  I own it.  I love me.

I have earned this confidence.

You have too.  You’ve earned the right to shine in whatever fits you.

Let’s do this.  Let’s strut together out into the world.  Confident and courageous. Bold and strong. Let’s show our daughters what aging really looks like.  I can see it now and it’s beautiful.

A bing band of women, walking together arm in arm, worthy and beloved, comfortable in their skin…and their jeans.

© 2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™



Stuck in a Moment

Are you stuck?

Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t agree with something and you just can’t let it go?  You can’t stop thinking about it and before you know it you are telling others about it and riling everyone up.  Then with the backing of all the other people, your anger or disappointment or resentment grows.  You all feed off of each other and include more people along the way.  With all of this momentum, you are doing things and saying things that one day you may regret.  But you have righteous anger and you have people backing you up and you will find someone to blame. 

It’s like a bus that keeps going faster and faster and you can’t get off.  It’s picking up more passengers on the way.  You may get where you want to go but in the meantime, you may be hitting people and things and causing a lot of pain. This will not end well.  There will be collateral damage.  

You are stuck in a moment.  You are stuck in that initial moment of feeling angry or wronged or rejected or lonely or betrayed or whatever it is.  You can’t get past it. 

This is why I believe in meditation and yoga and quiet stillness.  It works! When I want to complain and yell at people, I need to first just stop and breathe. 

Deep cleansing breaths bring perspective.  Sometimes my kids will see me with my eyes closed practicing deep breathing and they’ll know something is up.  It’s the equivalent of counting to ten.  A time out for adults!

Of course, this is easier said than done.  I certainly am not perfect and sometimes I forget.  But it’s a characteristic of a wise adult.  Wise people think and breathe and consider others.  When I don’t (which is more often than I like to admit), I regret it. 

When you are feeling overwhelmed or wronged or angry, it is important to stop and listen to your heart.  Ask yourself why and what you can do about it before just flying off the handle.  This is why your mother told you to think before you speak.  Or why my husband tells me “Loose lips sink ships”.  Or why people say you shouldn’t text or email or call anyone when you are angry (or after a few drinks).  Or why my mom always told me to “sleep on it” because it will be better in the morning.  And it always is. 

Sometimes I’m not wise.  But this is what I strive to be, especially in situations where others could be hurt by my actions (which happens to be every situation).  It’s a practice-which means we never get it down to a perfect science but hopefully, with practice, we get better at it with time. 

When we breathe, we realize we can handle whatever is going on.  It’s just a moment.  

U2 wrote a song called “Stuck in a Moment”.  It’s an amazing song! This clip is of Bono and The Edge singing it on David Letterman. (I mean, really, does it get any better than Bono and The Edge?) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_hw1xcfylI&feature=fvst. They wrote it for Michael Hutchence, the lead singer of INXS who committed suicide.  The first time I watched it, it made me cry.  How many people have we lost because they were stuck in a moment?  Maybe they didn’t have anyone to tell them to breathe and sleep on it, it will be better in the morning. 

My favorite line is “I’m still enchanted by a light you brought to me”.

We all have the opportunity to bring light to others. With practice, (and many deep breaths), we can be assured we will make the choice to bring more light than darkness.  When given the choice of a ride on the angry, fast moving, blaming bus – we won’t get on it.  We’ll be too busy breathing and praying for God to get us through this moment. 

Think before you react.  Breathe.  This too shall pass. 

©2011 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

Growth spurt

Can you agree that some of the toughest experiences in life end up teaching us the most? 

 I remember I was going through a tough time of a lot of changes and my wise friend listened to my woes and then said, “Oh, this is exciting.  Great spiritual growth happens in times of change and challenge.”

 Easy for her to say…

 Of course, now looking back, she was right.  I can’t say I welcome those times and say, “Oh this is so exciting, I’m in pain and feeling unsure of myself and my life.  Oh GOODY!  I’m in the midst of a spiritual growth spurt!” It’s not like that.  But I do see that when we are challenged, we are forced to look at ourselves, our lives, our choices, and think about who we want to be.

 Part of the challenge in life is to be okay in the times of questioning…to not panic or as it’s popular to say now, to, “Keep Calm and Carry On”.  To rely on your inner knowing that your life is as it should be.  Wouldn’t it be great to actually love the questions?  Wouldn’t it be great if you could embrace change and welcome the new and unknown?  (And I don’t mean a new car or an unknown vacation spot.  I mean the tough stuff.)

 Maybe the way you saw things happening, the way you “pictured your life” isn’t the way it is.  Maybe it’s better.  Maybe different is better.  Maybe if you let go of the way you think it “should be”, you can make room for acceptance for the “way it is”. 

 God never stops working on us.  He never decides he’s too tired to deal with our lives, our uncertainties, our fears.  He never sleeps.  He’s ready to use what we are dealing with to create growth and abundance in our lives.  He is ready and planning on us learning and getting closer to Him with every step we take.  He’s watching.  He’s watching the tears, the questioning, the decision making, the hand wringing.  He’s with us when we go to bed with doubts.  He is watching when we open a new door.  He’s encouraging us to walk through it. He’s with us when we change.  He’s cheering us on and rooting for us.  We are in this together.  We are not alone. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

                                                                        -Philippians 4:6