Freedom

We read the book, Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen, for my book club.  I loved it.  I didn’t love all the characters and I didn’t always agree with their opinions or their choices but I found the book worth reading.  It’s about a family – mostly a marriage.  I loved that he named the book Freedom. 

Freedom often conjures up images of patriotism and the Constitution and the flag.  But really, we can be “Free” in the sense of having freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and still not be “FREE” in the bigger sense of the word. 

Are you with me?  Even if the political climate changes and you are not as free as you used to be, if you’ve lost your job or your money or your power, you can still be free in your heart and your soul and your mind. 

The opposite is also true.  If you have absolute freedom and you can choose to do anything you want, anytime, with anyone…what would you do? 

Would your mind be free?  Would you choose freedom? 

That’s the thing…we are not ever totally free.  And I’d venture to say we don’t want to be.  When we are married, we have responsibilities to that other person.  We have taken vows.  We are committed.  Within those parameters, the greatest freedom we can ever know can emerge.  We can know love.  We can trust.  We can be ourselves.  In the context of our promises and our responsibilities, we are most free.  Without them, we are lost. 

This is true not only of marriage but of all relationships.  Families are not perfect.  We are technically free to leave at any time.  We will not be arrested if we do.  But in our minds and hearts and souls, won’t that freedom feel like imprisonment?  When we’re alone, we’ll just be alone. 

We hear, “With freedom comes responsibility” and that’s true but I also believe “with responsibility comes freedom”.  We are most free when we accept what we have, we step up to honor our commitments and we awaken to who we are.  We do this best in the context of our relationships.  Within families and marriages and friendships, our truest selves emerge.

I’m sure you’ve heard, “Be careful what you wish for” – I’d say this applies to this topic of freedom.  Many people go through periods where they wish they were single, unencumbered by children, independently wealthy and free to do what they want.  Sometimes these people get what they wish for and then they find out it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.  They are alone.  They are lonely. 

One of my favorite lines in a song is when Janis Joplin, in the song, Me and Bobby McGee, says, “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose”.  janis joplin -me and bobby mcgee (click link for song on youtube)  It makes you think, huh?

I have a sign in my house that says, “Contentment is not found in getting what you want but in realizing what you already have.”  I love that.

What I have is a whole bunch of commitments.  I have a home (often lovingly referred to as a “money pit”) I have a husband, kids, a job, volunteer commitments, friendships, books to read, bills to pay, promises to keep.   I’ve committed to eating better and working out more and spending less.  I’ve committed to a prayer life and a relationship with Jesus and a willingness to grow spiritually.  I’ve committed to being kind and generous and loving. 

I’m committed.  And I wouldn’t want it any other way.