Gratitude for Darkness

Darkness deserves gratitude. It is the alleluia point at which we learn to understand that all growth does not take place in the sunlight.

Joan Chittister
Uncommon Gratitude

I’ve been thinking about this a lot.  My yoga teacher (Laura Jane at Yoga Among Friends) touched on it the other day too.  We have no problem thanking the people who are good to us.  It’s easy to show gratitude to people who encourage and support us but we don’t think to thank the people who are more difficult for us to get along with.  As she put it, we actually learn tolerance from the intolerant, we learn what we don’t want to be when we are around people who are angry and rude.  Did you ever think you should thank these people? 

It’s like the darkness.  It seems crazy to thank God for the times when we are lonely, depressed, insecure, hopeless, scared.  But those are the times when spiritual growth can occur.  We don’t see it then.  We see it later.  It’s what Oprah would call the “Aha moment” and what Chittister (above) called the “alleluia point”.  We realize we had to go through the darkness to get to the light.  It’s a process. 

Living in the Midwest, people complain a lot about the weather.  I really don’t notice it much.  It doesn’t bother me.  I actually love a rainy day.  I like the winter too.  It’s an excuse to be inside and cuddle and watch movies and daydream.  Winter is a time to regroup and recharge and relax.  We get tired of it yes but when that first bud appears, we are renewed.  We see the sun and we appreciate it.  We recognize that winter and spring bring different gifts.  We are grateful for the darker days and we emerge again in the spring refreshed. 

Relationships are like this too.  They are not always perfect.  Sometimes they are difficult and strained.  People seem distant, removed.  We don’t feel connected.  We review our relationships, we become aware of how we are responding to that other person, we grow, we change.  Sometimes change in relationships can be painful and scary but we emerge again on the other side changed, wiser, more aware, renewed.  There are seasons in nature, in our lives, in our relationships.

My friend says, “It is what it is”.  I call that acceptance.  Darkness has its part too.  We don’t need to wish it was lightness.  Our destiny is Light but our path includes darkness.  Embrace what is.  It is making us who we are supposed to be.  Keep walking toward the light and it’s true, the shadows will fall behind you…but when you look back, you’ll see why they are there.   Go ahead, look back. I can hear it now…one big collective “Aha!”