Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. –Leo Buscaglia
My mom introduced me to Leo Buscaglia when I was younger. Literally. He had written the book, Living, Loving, Learning and he was signing books at a book convention. We were there because my parents owned a book store. I still have my signed copy. As you can see from the quote above, Leo is full of wisdom and optimism. He’s my kind of guy. As my friend said recently, he’s “right in my wheelhouse”. (I had no idea what that meant but have heard it many times since so apparently it’s a hip thing to say.)
My mom introduced me to other cool things and people too. I’m not sure I always thought they were too cool at the time. She took me to a music class with her where we sang songs like “He’s got the whole world in His hands” and “Kumbaya”. (It was the 70’s).
I try to introduce my children to good things too. I want them to know about things that enhance life and bring joy and inspire creativity and encourage authenticity. We take them skiing and hiking. We travel. I do yoga with them (or at least I do it around them). We go to church and we pray. We listen to music and watch movies.
They have seen The Searchers and can quote Cool Hand Luke. In fact, a few weeks ago, our pastor talked about a scene in Cool Hand Luke and the kids looked pretty proud to know what he was referring to. My husband and daughter watched The Philadelphia Story the other day.
We were just in Florida and we were walking on the beach. It was evening and we were the only people out there. I suggested we each pick up a shell and think of something that we have in our lives that is not serving us. This could be anger, resentment, fear, doubt, etc. We could think of that thing, acknowledge it and then think of that shell as the thing we want to get rid of. Then we can throw the shells into the ocean so we no longer have that negative thing in our lives.
My 13 year old daughter said, “NO! I don’t want to do that! MOM, everything is not all about SYMBOLISM!” Since I had no idea what she was talking about, I asked her what she meant by that. She said, “Everything you see has to MEAN something. Like that star, (pointing to the sky) is a symbol of blah, blah, blah…”
Part of me wanted to cry, part of me wanted to laugh, part of me understood exactly what she meant. Sometimes I feel that way too. Enough already with the meaning, can’t we just read People magazine and think of nothing for awhile?
I’m constantly wondering if I’m laying it on too thick with my kids. I am trying to share everything with them and sometimes, they just want me to go away. My challenge is to accept that and still continue to be me regardless of the reaction.
I didn’t appreciate Leo Buscaglia when I was a kid. I probably rolled my eyes at “Kumbaya”. But now I see how all those experiences shaped me. All the language I read or heard when I was younger became part of me.
I like to picture my daughter as an adult on vacation with her own family, throwing shells into the water explaining what those shells can signify. She’ll teach her kids what I taught her. I hope I can be there to see it.
©2011 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved
This is the first article I’ve read of yours, Sue, and I really connected with you on this topic. I too love to share moments & life lessons, along with pieces of wisdom with my children quite often. My oldest who is 15 (going on 30), however, is always getting on me about not trying to teach them a life lesson at ‘every possible moment’. I usually tell him (with a smile, of course) to get over it and he’ll appreciate it later, as he’s rolling his eyes at me, but I know I’ve at least planted a seed. I’ve actually heard him repeating some of these little motivational morsels to his friends every now and then, so even though kids sometimes put on a front, it’s definitely worth it! Thanks so much for the great blog post!
I love Jo Ann’s comment about Let There Be Peace on Earth, every time that is the closing song at Mass the whole church is singing and it brings tears to my eyes. I do have to say that there are some new age songs at the School’s Mass each Wednesday and it is fun to see the kids singing and clapping with some modern music mixed into the Catholic traditions. I laugh at how my 6-year old tells me to stop treating him like a “baby” and I say “you are my baby”. Sue, there is still a great feeling to read People with a diet coke and some chocolate covered peanuts, just like the good old days! :0)
Those church songs from the 70’s still resonate with me. I would love if our church had a weekly mass, or even monthly, that played the old church songs. I asked our musical director about it and was told those songs were from an “unpopular era”. For me, and possibly many others who are parents raising families, those songs have resonance and the messages are so simple and clear, the tunes so catchy, that I think our kids would get more involved in the music at church. Who can forget “Shout from the Highest Mountain” and “Let there be Peace on Earth” (and let it begin with me).
That was great. My husband and I have many fond memories of Kumbuya and we sing the song around our house frequently. I agree that sometimes we are laying the foundation for ideas that our children will cycle back to when they are older or when they need it. I know I do that. Thanks Sue!
You made me laugh out loud. I feel this all the time with the teenagers in my house wanting me to “leave them alone”. We can all only do our best and continue to be ourselves and teach what we feel is righteous and good. Thanks Sue!