Are you stuck?
Have you ever been in a situation where you don’t agree with something and you just can’t let it go? You can’t stop thinking about it and before you know it you are telling others about it and riling everyone up. Then with the backing of all the other people, your anger or disappointment or resentment grows. You all feed off of each other and include more people along the way. With all of this momentum, you are doing things and saying things that one day you may regret. But you have righteous anger and you have people backing you up and you will find someone to blame.
It’s like a bus that keeps going faster and faster and you can’t get off. It’s picking up more passengers on the way. You may get where you want to go but in the meantime, you may be hitting people and things and causing a lot of pain. This will not end well. There will be collateral damage.
You are stuck in a moment. You are stuck in that initial moment of feeling angry or wronged or rejected or lonely or betrayed or whatever it is. You can’t get past it.
This is why I believe in meditation and yoga and quiet stillness. It works! When I want to complain and yell at people, I need to first just stop and breathe.
Deep cleansing breaths bring perspective. Sometimes my kids will see me with my eyes closed practicing deep breathing and they’ll know something is up. It’s the equivalent of counting to ten. A time out for adults!
Of course, this is easier said than done. I certainly am not perfect and sometimes I forget. But it’s a characteristic of a wise adult. Wise people think and breathe and consider others. When I don’t (which is more often than I like to admit), I regret it.
When you are feeling overwhelmed or wronged or angry, it is important to stop and listen to your heart. Ask yourself why and what you can do about it before just flying off the handle. This is why your mother told you to think before you speak. Or why my husband tells me “Loose lips sink ships”. Or why people say you shouldn’t text or email or call anyone when you are angry (or after a few drinks). Or why my mom always told me to “sleep on it” because it will be better in the morning. And it always is.
Sometimes I’m not wise. But this is what I strive to be, especially in situations where others could be hurt by my actions (which happens to be every situation). It’s a practice-which means we never get it down to a perfect science but hopefully, with practice, we get better at it with time.
When we breathe, we realize we can handle whatever is going on. It’s just a moment.
U2 wrote a song called “Stuck in a Moment”. It’s an amazing song! This clip is of Bono and The Edge singing it on David Letterman. (I mean, really, does it get any better than Bono and The Edge?) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_hw1xcfylI&feature=fvst. They wrote it for Michael Hutchence, the lead singer of INXS who committed suicide. The first time I watched it, it made me cry. How many people have we lost because they were stuck in a moment? Maybe they didn’t have anyone to tell them to breathe and sleep on it, it will be better in the morning.
My favorite line is “I’m still enchanted by a light you brought to me”.
We all have the opportunity to bring light to others. With practice, (and many deep breaths), we can be assured we will make the choice to bring more light than darkness. When given the choice of a ride on the angry, fast moving, blaming bus – we won’t get on it. We’ll be too busy breathing and praying for God to get us through this moment.
Think before you react. Breathe. This too shall pass.
©2011 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved