The Pursuit of Happiness

Is it a good idea to ask yourself if you are “happy”?

Often, we hear parents say, “I just want my kids to be happy”.  I’ve said this.  But actually, that’s not all I want for them.  Sometimes, kids (and adults) can be happy but not kind.  They can be laughing and having a good time but not showing any compassion or regard for others.  They can have all of the outward signs of happiness and be empty inside.  This isn’t what I want for my kids. 

There are many things I want for my children so I will no longer say, “I just want them to be happy”. 

I believe happiness is fleeting.  Happiness is temporary.  It is dependent on circumstances.  You can be happy after a day at the mall.  Kids are happy when they get the latest gadget.  Does happiness come from consuming?  Of course not.  That kind of happiness lasts a few hours or a day and then the newness wears off and you are looking for another “thing” to make you happy. 

In The Declaration of Independence it says “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

This is interesting wording.  When we pursue happiness, what are we pursuing?  Are we pursuing love?  Are we pursuing money?  Are we pursuing the ability to buy lots of stuff?

If you asked students in colleges in America what they are pursuing, do you think they would say they are pursuing knowledge and wisdom and the ability to serve others and create a better world?  Or would they say they are pursuing an education that will get them a job so they can make money?  Because it seems in America, lots of people think money will  buy us happiness.  We especially think this when we feel we don’t have enough money.  The pursuit of money is not bad in and of itself but there is so much more to happiness.  

I think we should replace the word “happiness” with “well-being” as in, being well.  To “be well” we need to nurture all sides of ourselves.   We need to live a balanced life.  Our pursuit of well being will involve an inner as well as an outer journey.  My daughter goes to a camp where they encourage exploration of all sides of yourself including social, mental, physical and spiritual.  They encourage you to find out who you are and how to uniquely be in the world in a way that is true to yourself.  They learn to be “My own self, at my very best, all the time”.  

That’s what I hope for my kids.  Not a one sided “happiness” that is fleeting and leaves them chasing after the next high.  I hope for them to have a balanced life and I hope for them to “be well”.  If that makes them happy…well then, that’s a good thing.