I saw a young couple running today. They were probably in their 30s and they seemed so serious, frowning while their feet smacked the pavement. Pounding, punishing, focused.

 

I smiled at them and said good morning as I was walking by with my dog. They didn’t smile or say anything. I wasn’t surprised or offended, in fact, I had a feeling of recognition. It reminded me of a time in my life when I was so focused on getting that run in. I was so committed to my agenda, my to do list, my goals. There was no time or room for interruptions.  I’m certain I missed a lot.

 

One of the blessings of getting older is there is a softening, an ease that comes from letting go of the striving and pushing and achieving, an opening of heart and mind, an awareness of other people and a desire to put them first. These days I pray I can be a blessing. I’ve decided that’s a good goal.

 

Looking back, I wonder about all the opportunities I missed to connect with others. I think about people I may have looked past, lost in my own head with my own plans. I am curious now about the time I spent chasing something that now seems insignificant. But we don’t know then, do we?

 

When we are young, we build our kingdoms. We see the game and we decide to play it, vowing to win. And when it turns out that we are only human and not master of the universe, we get to the real point of it all. It’s funny because so many people talk about purpose, decide what it is, set goals to achieve it, and ignore it on the way to pursuing it. When we rely on our own understanding and what the world tells us to do, we miss it all together.

 

This isn’t a criticism of the couple running. I don’t know them. They could have been having a serious discussion or going through something tough. It’s not about them. It’s not an indictment on exercise. I’m a big fan of moving my body and I plan to keep doing it. This is a chance to look at my own life and ask how I’ve grown and what I’ve learned.

 

Society paints getting older in a negative light. People stress out to “stay young,” which is just more of the same hustling and fear based grasping.

 

I don’t want to go back to those days when I thought I could control it all. I’m grateful for the softening. As our faces gain lines, we gain wisdom. As our bodies mature, we gain perspective.

 

Years ago, when I was teaching Christian yoga, I found a Scripture verse that really spoke to my heart. Here it is:

 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

-Matthew 11:28-30 MSG

 

Ultimately, that’s my goal, to walk with the Lord, to learn the unforced rhythms of grace, to live freely and lightly. Today was a reminder of how far I’ve come. Not through my own striving but through surrender and softening.

 

Seasoned and humbled by life, we can stop white knuckling it all. It’s not a race. It’s not a competition. We can slow down our pace and walk now, smiling and saying hello to whoever crosses our path. Who knows? Maybe our ease will allow others to feel at ease too.