Vulnerability

To open deeply, as genuine spiritual life requires, we need tremendous courage and strength, a kind of warrior spirit. But the place for this warrior strength is in the heart.

-Jack Kornfield  A Path with Heart

Vulnerability is not a weakness, it is a strength. Few of us are tough enough to be soft. 

I learned that quote in college and I love it.  I think it speaks a great truth that is counter cultural.  In our culture, we learn that in order to succeed, we need to be strong, “never let them see you sweat”, “perception is everything”, “act like you know what you are doing”, etc.  So this is how we operate.  We show a tough exterior to the outer world.  And sometimes our interiors are begging to be seen. 

In my own life, I’ve seen this in many places…the junior high lunch room, high school (everywhere there), the sorority house, the business world, and even now, in parenting.  There are a lot of people walking around not wanting to let other people see any weakness or vulnerability on their part.  How are we going to learn from each other and grow if we are afraid to show our true selves?  How does this serve the world?

Where does true strength lie?  Where does courage originate from?  I think it stems from our inner knowing that we are loved.  That no matter how much we succeed, or how often we fail, we are loved.  It comes from knowing that we can only build meaningful relationships if we let others into our hearts.  Yes, it’s scary but in order to be authentic, we need to be vulnerable.  Looking at it that way, the truly strong people are the people who are open, real, willing to show the world their imperfections, willing to laugh at themselves. 

Let’s just assume we are not perfect and remember that no one else is either.  That way we can skip the posturing and get right into the good stuff of getting to know each other for real.  That would be a relief, wouldn’t it?