What’s the point?

I wonder, is there a time in everyone’s life when the surface stuff seems really pointless?  I mean, does everyone get to the point where they say, “There has to be more to life”?

I feel that so keenly at this point in my life.  Maybe it’s because I have kids.  Maybe it’s because I’ve lost people I love, maybe because I’ve seen destruction and sadness and disease and addiction and divorce and death.  I’ve seen healthy young fathers die suddenly and tragically, I’ve known children diagnosed with cancer or brain tumors, I’ve known kids who suffer with epilepsy and I’ve seen their parents struggle to find answers, I’ve seen families torn apart, I’ve witnessed lying and cheating and stealing.  I’ve been part of relationships that are in need of healing and reconciliation.  I’ve sinned.  I’ve fallen short.

I’ve known the people with the perfect house, perfect cars, perfect clothes, perfect kids, and I’ve heard from them about the unrest in their hearts.  I know there is no such thing as perfect yet I’ve spent time striving.  I’ve strived and I’ve achieved and even after I’ve gotten  what I wanted, what I’ve worked for, what I thought I needed, I’ve realized it’s not enough.   I’ve seen the lies that undermine us.  I’ve heard the secrets behind closed doors.  I’ve watched things fall apart.  I’ve been scared.  I’ve asked the question, “What if all this is all there is?” and that thought has left me hopeless.  This can’t be it I think…no way…it’s so empty.

I seek for meaning.

I seek because I know I don’t have all the answers and some days I don’t feel like I have any answers.  Some days I’m mean and cranky and bone tired.  Some days I gossip and lash out.  Some days I refuse to forgive.  Some days the question, “What’s for dinner?” sends me into an angry tailspin…”no one “gets” me…I’m not a cook…should I go back to work?…why are there empty water bottles in the yard?…why are there food crumbs all over the couch?…Why does it cost $75.00 to fill up my gas tank?…How did I gain 5 pounds since YESTERDAY!…what’s the point of all this?”

What is the point?

This is the question that leads people to seek for something spiritual to hang on to.  I believe we all get to this question.  To me, this is the most exciting question of all questions!

I wrote a blog post about my friend (“Mountain Climbing”) and he commented on it.  I’m worried no one will see the comment since it was a couple posts ago so I’m copying it and printing it here.  It’s really good and really honest and I didn’t want you to miss it.  These are his words:

Allow me explain my point of view on climbing, life and religion. I’m an atheist. But I do believe in spirituality. To me, spirituality has nothing to do with religion or God. My definition of spirituality is the thing that makes you feel whole. The thing that makes you warm inside. The thing makes you feel like you are part of a bigger thing or purpose. The thing that makes you feel like everything is going to be ok. The thing that makes you feel insignificant yet huge at the same time. For a lot of people, this thing is religion. Religion makes them feel whole.

For me, it’s nature. Being on a mountain and looking down, sticking my head in an ice cold raging stream, laying on a giant rock that’s warm from the sun, wrapping my arms around a 100 year old tree, seeing bazillions of stars at night, looking out over an ocean or an endless prairie and hearing the sound of silence. All these things make me feel whole. They make me warm inside.

Spirituality is something that everybody needs in their life. Life sucks without it. I don’t believe in God, but if someone chooses God because it gives them spirituality, then I respect that. Some people spend their whole life searching for the one thing that makes them feel good and never find it. You’ve found yours in religion. I’ve found mine on a mountain.  They are similar yet so different. 

We are all seekers.  We are all looking for something that will make us “feel like everything is going to be ok”.

Where are you seeking?

I heard Diane Sawyer talking about a father who asks his kids every night, “What good questions did you ask in school today?”  Isn’t that great?  I want to encourage my kids to ask good questions.  Heck, I want to ask good questions.

Some “religious” people shy away from asking questions, some are afraid.   Some “religious” people think it’s wrong to doubt or to wonder or to seek.  I don’t.  But then again, I don’t call myself a “religious” person.  I have to correct my friend in that one part of his comment.  I have not found my spirituality in religion.  I have found my hope in Jesus Christ.  This is different.  It’s a critical distinction for me.

Religion in the dictionary means:  a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.

I am a member of a church and I think community is a very important part of living life as a Christian.  However, Religion can be messy and political and flawed and cumbersome and hypocritical and boring – not always but sometimes. I even believe there are times when “religion” can actually get in the way of a personal relationship with Christ.  I keep it simple.  I seek Jesus.  Jesus is love.

I’m getting to know Jesus better and His Father God and the beautiful gift of the Holy Spirit.  The more I learn the more excited I become to find out what’s next for me and for the world.  But in order to get to what’s next, I must seek and ask and follow where I feel I’m being led even when I don’t have the answers.  It seems the more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.

I do know my God is big enough and strong enough and real enough to walk with me wherever I go.  He’s not going to leave me because I question.

In fact, I picture Him asking me at the end of each day, “What good questions did you ask today?”

What about you?  How would you answer?

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved