When “Yes” Isn’t Easy

These are some of my Holy Yoga sisters in Humble Warrior…we bow and surrender.  This posture is about being strong and soft…accepting God’s majesty and my need for Him. I love this pose and these people. They remind me of who I am when I forget.

Saying “yes” to God isn’t always easy.

It’s not the same for everyone but my experience has gone something like this: the God of my childhood faith is introduced to me and He is loving and generous and powerful. I say yes to Him but He remains “other”. He is different and therefore I distance Him. He is like a long lost relative that shows up occasionally and I love Him and I know about Him but I don’t know Him. I do know that there is a list of things I “should” do to please Him. Or else.

Then a friend introduces me to Jesus claiming I have to “ask Him into my heart” to get to heaven. This sounds a little scary like, “Wait, I’m not going to heaven?” Then all the “should’s” became louder and a little more confusing.

This sends me off on a quest…I become a seeker…going to every church and reading lots of books and trying to “figure everything out”. It became the central question for me. Who is God and how can I know Him better?

Did you get that? How can I KNOW…I didn’t realize that what I was seeking wasn’t going to be found in me DOING but in just BEING  and inviting God into my life so He can know me.

I had moments of clarity…mountaintop moments…kisses from God.  I experienced His love and grace. I worked to serve Him but I kept Him at a distance. Intellectualized the story of salvation. Fought for Him like an attorney but didn’t live for Him. I squeezed Him into my life. I fit Him in where it wouldn’t make me too uncomfortable.

But all of that has changed. By the merciful grace of God, He has continued to pursue me. He pursues all of us relentlessly because He loves us. He is interested in transforming our hearts.  Jesus has become my friend, my shield, my hope. I have asked Him into my heart but not because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t.  I’ve asked Him into my heart and my mind and my soul and every dark and dusty corner of my life because I need him.  He does not need me. I need Him.

When the big questions come up for me now, I turn to Jesus. I pray and I wait. He calms my fears and He shows me the way.

He hems me in on all sides. He goes before me and behind me.

Our lives are like winding roads with lots of different ways we can go. Because of Jesus I no longer fear the missed turn or the dark night or the new road.

Wherever I go there He is.

He takes away my fears and gives me courage to say “yes” even when it isn’t easy.

©2014 Sue Bidstrup Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved