Waiting is a Verb

A wise friend told me the truth yesterday.

She said I might have to just wait.

Then she told me that “waiting” is a verb.

I asked God to show me what He means by waiting.  Actually, I asked Google to show me what God says about waiting.  Google and God gave me this.

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I cried.

Yes! Yes! That’s what I want.  I want to stop gritting my teeth and experience the glory-strength of God.

I want my life…all of it…even the waiting…to spill over into joy. I want to experience everything bright and beautiful that God has for me.

Lord, help us to go easy in the waiting…remind us that waiting is “doing something” if we surrender it to you…remind me that surrender is not giving up.

My yoga teacher said the other day, “When you surrender, you join the winning team”.

Yes Lord. Victory is mine. Maybe not right this minute but it’s coming.

Thank you.

© 2016 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™

 

 

In the New Year, I Will Wear Jeans That Fit

 

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I was trying on jeans the other day.  I found a box with a bunch from years past and I tried them all on.  Every brand was in there.  And every size. All the styles…skinny, flared, boot cut, boyfriend, ripped, cropped, light, dark, stretchy, bedazzled.

They represent all the different phases of my life.  There is the young stage, the mom stage, all the sizes up and down the pregnancy years, the fancy going out jeans, the run around town jeans, the ones you wear with your boots and the ones that can handle heels. Some have been tailored to fit like a glove, others hang low, hand me downs from my husband, ripped and torn and way too roomy.  Some have paint splats from my days of painting furniture.  Some are ripped on purpose, others from wear.

There is no other item of clothing that I love more.  Jeans are my jam.  I feel like myself in jeans.  However, I’ve realized that more times than I care to admit, I have worn jeans that make me feel “not myself”.  Trying on all of these jeans the other day, I realized I’m ready to move on.

I’m not saying I won’t keep them. I will pack them away in a box to pull out when I feel like reminiscing.  I will think of them like a living, fashion photo album.  I will love them and appreciate them but I won’t long to be in them.

I have grown up.  I am wiser and a little wider.  And it’s okay if they no longer fit.

In the new year, I will wear jeans that fit. I will put them on like a comfy blanket and I will be warmed.  I will wear them like a boss with my boots and my big blingy Texas belt buckle.  I will wear jeans that make me feel like me.  The real me.  The 46 year old me.  The one who is brave and kind and thoughtful.  The me that understands where she has been and is joyfully expectant about where she is going.  The peaceful yogi me and the silly, loud, singing at the top of her lungs me.  The me that likes to eat and hike and dance and laugh and travel.  The me that mothers teenagers.  The me that humbly understands how small I am.  The me that knows what needs to be done and can do it.  The obedient me. The rebellious me. Flaws and mistakes and successes and all of it.  I like it.  I own it.  I love me.

I have earned this confidence.

You have too.  You’ve earned the right to shine in whatever fits you.

Let’s do this.  Let’s strut together out into the world.  Confident and courageous. Bold and strong. Let’s show our daughters what aging really looks like.  I can see it now and it’s beautiful.

A bing band of women, walking together arm in arm, worthy and beloved, comfortable in their skin…and their jeans.

© 2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™

 

 

My Joy Story

stars light up the night. big Texas sky covers us graciously. tucking us in for a story. campfire burns. we stare. mesmerized by light and warmth. notes play as voices sing. sharing loss and desire. we understand each other.  universal stories. contentment.  joyful noise.

he reaches out for my hand as we walk. stomach flutters. unsure of what’s next. heart beating in my throat. hoping he’ll tell me who he is. what he loves. where he hurts. eager to be let in. listening intently. story unfolding. joy coming.

bright lights. lots of people. noise. doctors racing. nurses talking. my feet are cold. searing pain. fear. hurry. worry. wait. wonder. why. there will be no cry they say. do not be afraid. clean out mouth and take away…trusting. listening. it’s okay they say. scared. mom? who is here? what time is it? so much pain. hear a cry. relief. tears. laughter. joy delivered.

big tree with tire swing. golf carts and trampoline. bikes against the fence. hoop too high for me. brother lifts me. leaves crunch. hide and seek. running. pool. stories. who said what. who did what. who do you like. where are you going. friends.laughter. long lazy days of summer. joy remembered.

entering in. unrolling my mat. chanting om. movement. breath. meditation. inner journey. awakening. light. calm. peace. community. safety. wellness. health. grace. prayer. new life. joyful freedom.

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These are just some of my Joy Stories.  I have asked God to give me more joy in my original design..more joy in who He has made me to be…more joy in my unique story. I’ll be looking back and looking ahead with joy this year.  I will be praying for eyes to see and ears to hear the joy that is around me in the present moment.  I will be celebrating the way joy continues to show up.

Joy is our birthright and our destiny.  We must claim it.  Own it.

Do you see it? Did you feel it? Can you remember it?

Where do you find joy?

Let’s tell that story.

We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. -Psalm 126:2

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