Need a good book for summer?

Posted on May 17, 2012 by Sue

It’s time for another official book review!  Check out the discussion on BlogHer at

http://http://www.blogher.com/bookclub/now-reading-where-she-went

The book in review is Where She Went by Gayle Forman.  When I signed up to review it, I did not know it was a sequel to a book called, If I Stay.  I was kind of bummed at first thinking I should have read the first book  but it really didn’t matter.   I could follow the story even without reading the first book.  However, I did end up buying the first book because I liked this one so much!  The first book is from the woman’s point of view and this book is from the man’s point of view which I think is brilliant!

Imagine my surprise when I received the If I Stay and it has a review on it from USA Today that says it “will appeal to fans of Stephenie Meyer’s TWILIGHT”.  Whaddya know??

I have yet to meet a tween/teen book or movie that I don’t enjoy…especially a love story. This one hooked me from the first line.  “Every morning I wake up and tell myself this:  It’s just one day, one twenty-four-hour period to get yourself through.” 

This book is written from the perspective of the man, Adam, and it is honest and gut wrenching at times.  We see his insecurities and his fears and feel his longing.  He had made a promise to his girlfriend after she was in an accident.  He told her that if she lived, he would do anything for her.  He begged her not to die.  She lived and then she left him.

This is the story of how Adam feels about all of it – the accident, the promise, the fact that she left him.  Forman does a great job of writing from his point of view.  I was swept up in his emotions and I really liked him even though (because?) he was flawed and not always so “nice”.

Adam and Mia were high school sweethearts and both musicians so music and lyrics play a big role in this book which I love! Since the accident, he has become a famous rock star which makes reading his thoughts very interesting.  It’s as if we are getting a glimpse into the interior life of a celebrity and realizing he is just like us…flawed, lonely, angry, needy.

Where She Went is romantic and suspenseful and hopeful.   Parts of the book are sad but to me, the book is filled with real emotions that ring true.  You feel like you know Adam and you root for him.  Honestly, I couldn’t put it down.  I read it in a day.  This would be a great  read for mom and for her teenage daughters!

Just in time for summer!

This is a paid book review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.
image of book cover from bornbookish.blogspot.com
©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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Shaking My Can on the Corner

Posted on May 12, 2012 by Sue

I know, it doesn’t sound pretty.

What I mean is that I was “shaking a can” for ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) on the corner this morning.  It was amazing.

I saw a lot of volunteers standing in the rain to help!

I witnessed generosity in spades.

There were lots of people saying, “God Bless!” which of course, I loved and immediately responded with “GOD BLESS YOU TOO”.  I think that’s one of the nicest things you can say to someone.  We all need to be blessed.

I saw kids reaching out their hands from the back seat with coins to share.

I met people who shared their stories of loved ones lost to this terrible disease.

There was a woman who came back around in her car after she went home to get more money.

I saw a priest who stopped to contribute and told me a story about a fellow priest who suffered from ALS.

There were Mercedes and beat up cars and Cadillacs and delivery trucks and motorcycles and teenagers learning to drive.  There were people with dogs and families together and babies in back.  There were older couples.  There were people dressed up and people who were sweaty coming straight from a work out.  There were women who just finished running a race for breast cancer.

A hospice nurse stopped to tell me to check out her bumper sticker which said “Stamp out  ALS”.  Her eyes were so kind and I got the feeling she knew this disease intimately.  I thanked her for what she does every day…hospice nurses are angels.

It choked me up.

I got a glimpse today.  I got a glimpse of goodness.  Actually, I feel like I got a gallon of goodness.  What a blessing.

This disease is bad.  Do what you can to help. Give. Pray. Smile at people who are on the corner shaking their can.  Even if you don’t give money, look  up and make eye contact, wave and acknowledge.  There are people in pain.  There is suffering.

But in the midst of suffering, there is grace.

We are in this together.  Thank God.

To all the moms out there – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY.  Thank you for your love and your healing and your smiles and your warm cozy hugs.  Thank you for dancing in the kitchen and picking us up at 3 am.  Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you for believing in us.  Thank you for advocating for us.  Thank you for running out to Walgreen’s late at night because we forgot we needed posterboard.  Thank you for your wisdom.  Thank you for your understanding.  Thank you for holding our hair back when we puke and for wiping our tears.  Thank you for changing our diapers and feeding us and feeding us and feeding us.  Thank you for listening. Thank you for sweeping and cleaning and shoveling and planting and decorating.  Thank you for sharing your faith and your knowledge and your hope and your dreams.  Thank you for your courage.

This is big.  Because when you got into this thing called motherhood, maybe you didn’t know what it was.  Nobody told you because nobody could.  It’s different for all of us.  It’s joy and it’s laughter and it’s pain and it’s worry and it’s fear.  Deep down fear.  Fear of failure and fear of our babies not being safe.  But it’s faith too.  It’s faith in something bigger and something better and something really real.  It’s faith in LOVE.  It’s faith that when we share our love, we create something beautiful.  We share, then our kids share and then the world shares and we are all so much brighter.

Thank you to all the moms.  Mine, yours, you, me, everyone.  Here’s a poem I received when I was awaiting the arrival of my first baby.  Oh man…it kills me.

BABY ASKS GOD, “THEY TELL ME YOU ARE SENDING ME TO EARTH TOMMORROW,  BUT HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE THERE BEING SO SMALL AND HELPLESS?”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU AND WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.”
THE CHILD FURTHER INQUIRED, “BUT TELL ME, HERE IN HEAVEN I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BUT SING AND SMILE TO BE HAPPY.”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL SING FOR YOU AND WILL ALSO SMILE FOR YOU.” AND YOU WILL FEEL YOUR ANGEL’S LOVE AND BE VERY HAPPY.”
AGAIN THE CHILD ASKED, “AND HOW AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO ME IF I DON’T KNOW THE LANGUAGE?”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL TELL YOU THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND SWEET WORDS YOU WILL EVER HEAR, AND WITH MUCH PATIENCE AND CARE, YOUR ANGEL WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO SPEAK.”
“AND WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN I WANT TO TALK TO YOU?”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL PLACE YOUR HANDS TOGETHER AND TEACH YOU HOW TO PRAY.”
“WHO WILL PROTECT ME?”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL PROTECT YOU EVEN IF IT MEANS RISKING HER LIFE.”
“BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE SAD BECAUSE I WILL NOT SEE YOU ANYMORE.”
GOD SAID, “YOUR ANGEL WILL ALWAYS TALK TO YOU ABOUT ME AND WILL TEACH YOU THE WAY TO COME BACK TO ME, EVEN THOUGH I WILL ALWAYS BE NEXT TO YOU.”
 AT THAT MOMENT THERE WAS MUCH PEACE IN HEAVEN, BUT VOICES FROM EARTH COULD BE HEARD AND THE CHILD HURRIEDLY ASKED, “GOD, IF I AM TO LEAVE NOW, PLEASE TELL ME MY ANGELS NAME.”
 GOD SAID, YOU WILL SIMPLY CALL HER, “MOM.”

Angels indeed.   Enjoy your day Moms!

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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The power of SHE and YOU and ME

Posted on May 6, 2012 by Sue

OMG…This week has been CRAZY with inspiration.  I have SO MUCH to share with you!  People everywhere are doing amazing things!  God is doing amazing things!  Miracles are happening! This is how I feel…(shouting voice like Owen Meany)  LET’S ALL PUT OUR SOULS AND MINDS AND HEARTS AND RESOURCES TOGETHER!  LET’S ASK FOR GOD’S BLESSING AND GET MOVING TO HEAL OURSELVES AND EACH OTHER!  WE CAN DO IT.  GOD HAS CALLED US! IT WILL BE AWESOME! STOP DILLY DALLYING – WAKE UP AND GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

Since I can’t write about all of it at once, I will begin with an entry about a blog I found.  Oh my.  I had to share.  Enjoy.

I have a girl crush.

I found a blog that is the real deal.  Please read.  http://momastery.com/blog/about-glennon/

This woman/mom/writer/recoverer/believer is really amazing.

I’m excited for her (she got a book deal!) and a little jealous (she got a book deal!)  And I’m excited for me (it can happen!) and more motivated than ever (it can happen!)

But mostly, I’m rooting for her and I’m praising God for her and I’m totally blown away by how the internet can link our souls together.

Read her story.  She is recovering from some things and that is why she is so raw and real and authentic.

She is taking this soul sharing seriously.

When we share our souls, something really beautiful happens.  

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. 

-Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés

I’m sure you’ve heard it said that you are “only as sick as your secrets”.   Some people have had to deal with eating disorders or depression or abuse or addiction or bullying or fear or anxiety or OCD or ADHD or learning disabilities or just plain hard lives.  Some people haven’t had to deal with any of that but are unhappy and don’t know why.  Some people have recovered and relapsed and rehabbed and renewed and relapsed but they keep trying.  We are all recovering from something.

Or maybe we are all UNCOVERING something.

I see it this way…we are born and we are bright and beautiful and enthusiastic and naïve and trusting and free.  Then life happens.   Sometimes we wake up and say, “How did I get here?” and sometimes we wake up and say, “Thank God I woke up”.  Or we sleepwalk through life as if we are in a dream until something nightmarish happens and wakes us up.  It could be a death or an addiction or a crime or a betrayal or a bankruptcy or a fire or a disease or a natural disaster of epic proportions.

Sometimes none of those things happen.  Sometimes we have NONE of that.  Sometimes we have none of that and we know we should feel blessed and be perfect and always be bright but we are not because life is hard.  My mom said it like this, “Life is hard enough at best.”   This is so true.

The other day my friend was having a pity party out loud to me and it was okay.  I was listening and I was open but she was judging.  She was judging herself.  You know how it goes… “I know I should be grateful, other people have it so tough, I am so blessed”…yada, yada, yada.  I told her not to judge it.  Just say how she is feeling, get it off her chest and don’t judge it.  Be kind to yourself.  All those things about being blessed are true and I believe in optimism and gratitude, etc. But really, sometimes we need to be a friend to ourselves and just accept.  We need to say it like it is (and it isn’t always pretty) and we need to accept it and stop judging. ..first ourselves and then others.

Gosh, it’s so hard to keep up the facade of perfection.  It’s such a waste of time.  We have to know we are in a safe place to be real and to be flawed and to still be loved.  Who among us is not flawed?  How can we grow and learn and SHINE if we are not accepted, if we do not know that we are beautiful and whole and healed.  I’m here to tell you sisters (and brothers) – you are beautiful, you are whole and together (with God’s love and grace), we will be healed.

On that note, I’m SO glad we are in this together.  Be brave.  Be strong.  Be a soul sharer.  No matter what you’ve been through up to this point, here we are, together.  We need each other.  Recover.  Uncover.  Whatever.  Share and be healed.

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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Prayer

Posted on April 29, 2012 by Sue

Prayer.

We talk about it.  We say we’ll do it as in “I’ll pray for you” or “Please pray for my (mom/daughter/sister/husband)” or “You are in my thoughts and prayers”.

This week has been interesting.  My mom had to go in for some tests and I prayed really hard for her.  I asked others to pray for her.  I prayed for nothing to be wrong and for her to be healthy and for her to live forever.  I know that last one is unrealistic but I might as well say it, God knows what’s in my heart.

Sometimes we pray for the impossible because we believe in miracles.  I believe in miracles.  I believe in prayer.

My mom had given me a book that I love and I turned to the page for the day of her tests and here’s what I found:

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”    -2 Corinthians 16-18

It was perfectly what I needed to read.  It changed the way I was looking at the situation.   God’s words changed me.

Today in church we learned of another young man in our community who has passed away.  He was the father of young children and it is a terrible tragedy.  We have been praying for him in his sickness and will continue to do so now.  We will pray for his family.

We pray because we believe that something eternal is going on.  We believe that something bigger than what we can see is happening.  We believe that we are not alone.

We pray for health, for freedom from addiction, for good results, for less sadness, for less loneliness, for forgiveness.  We pray for understanding and peace and comfort.

When we were younger, we may have prayed for the winning hit or the strike out or the good score on the ACT or the acceptance letter.  As we get older, we learn to pray for “acceptance of whatever comes our way” even if we lose the game or we fail the test.  We learn to aim higher – we learn to pray for more eternal things like grace and gratitude and wisdom.

We pray in gratitude and we pray in grief.  We “offer it up” because we can’t bear it alone.

We pray alone in bed at night and we pray in community.  We pray in cars on highways and country roads and alongside accident sites.  We pray before meals.

We pray for our leaders and our families and our friends.  We pray for our children and our marriages and our relationships.  We pray for ourselves.

We pray for transformation.

We pray when we don’t know what else to do.  We pray because we know He hears.

And if for a minute we doubt that He is hearing us at all, we pray for Him to remove that doubt, we pray for a sign, we pray for open eyes and ears and hearts so we can see and feel Him.  We pray.  And we are changed.

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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When predictability is good…and Love wins

Posted on April 23, 2012 by Sue

I made my husband take me to see “The Lucky One” this weekend.  It’s the new movie with Zac Efron and some girl (what’s her name?) about L-O-V-E!!! Did I mention Zac Efron is in it? Before you go thinking I’m creepy, he is all grown up.  I happened to google him and he is almost 25.  He was born in October of 1987.  Never mind that I graduated high school that year.

Anyway, my husband sat with me in a theater filled with giggling, texting, silly, boy –crazed teenage girls.  I think my husband really loves me.  He must.  Or he must really have wanted the popcorn (and Twizzlers, Goobers, Lemonheads, and Raisinets).  This is not an exaggeration.  I swear the diet has started today.  I’ll be sucking on ice chips all week.   I won’t be going to the movies again for a while because the movies are a “trigger” for me when it comes to candy.  But that’s another blog…

I loved the movie.

There was nothing original or surprising about the plot or the characters really but it was just what I wanted.  That was the whole point!

Sometimes what we want is the thing we already know.

I had an expectation that this movie would be romantic and touching and enjoyable and I would leave the theater feeling uplifted and happy.  (Also maybe a little bloated.) I knew that in the end, love would win!

My expectations were met.  I felt great!

Not many things in life are like that.  Not many things are completely predictable.

Maybe this is why I’m such a fan of routine.  I like to think I’m a “live your life by the seat of your pants gal” but sometimes, I just want to do the predictable thing like go to bed early and read a book.  I like a normal, predictable bedtime routine.  Just like my kids.  I remember being so adamant about keeping to bedtime routines when my kids were little.  I wanted my kids to feel safe, to feel loved, to know they can rely on that book and that kiss and that “tuck in time” every night.  I wanted them to know in their sweet little hearts that some things in the world are predictable and one of those things is their mom and her reliable presence and voice and touch and love.  I knew it was important then and I stick by it to this day.

My 14 year old daughter growls a little and tries to get me out of her room quickly now but I still go in for the good night kiss.  She said she doesn’t need me to come in at night.  I told her that it’s for me now.  I need it.  That’s true for sure but I also remember being a teenager and waiting in bed for my kiss good night.  My dad would come in and “check on me” after he turned off Johnny Carson.  To this day, that theme song gets to me…”Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah”…I was usually drifting into sleep but my heart was waiting for him.  After he would leave I would fall into a deep comfortable sleep.  The kind that only comes after you have been reassured that there are some things you can count on and the world is good and you are safe.  A kiss from Dad can do that.

When I was a teenager and I was out at night, my dad would wait up for me in his recliner.  He would fall asleep but he would never go upstairs to bed without me home.  Even as I got older, he knew the importance of this for him and for me.

Back to the movie…

I can’t stand it when people turn up their noses at movies like “The Lucky One” because they are more into “films”.  (Said in a fake English accent while sipping tea or smoking a pipe.)

Really?

I made my husband go to the movie, ”Howard’s End” with me once.  (I know…he should be up for an award.  I don’t mean to brag but he also cooks and is cute too.) He fell asleep.  I was bored.

Why go against who we are?

I like sappy movies.

I can’t stop singing along to One Direction.  “Baby you light up my world like nobody else…”

I watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Is there more to me?  Yes.  Do I sometimes like films?  Yes.  Do I sometimes act snooty and talk with a fake English accent?  No.

My point is this.  Find what you like and do it.  Find what brings you joy and then share it.  Kiss your kids, tuck them in every night,  dance in the kitchen, skip.  Whatever you do, don’t try to be so cool that you turn into someone you are not.

Find things in your life that you can count on.  Maybe it’s a husband that will go anywhere with you because he’s good like that.  Maybe it’s a Dad who never missed a good night kiss.  Maybe it’s Nicholas Sparks’ books and movies because you know how they end and love always wins.

Maybe it’s your faith because it makes you feel safe and loved.  I was just thinking this may be why we are so drawn the story of Jesus.  It’s predictable and we know the ending but we return to it again and again because it reminds us that there are some things we can count on and in the end, it’s true… love always wins.

 
©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved
picture by themovieblog.com

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If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

Posted on April 16, 2012 by Sue

“It’s my birthday and I’ll _______ if I want to”

See the blank?  I get to fill it today.  I know the song says “cry” but I don’t feel like crying.  With all the caffeine I had this morning, I feel like flying.  Actually, that would be awesome…except I’m a scaredy cat.

My husband went sky diving once and loved it.  He was all jacked up on adrenaline.   I was happy for him but it’s not for me.

My friend asked me today if I was excited it was my birthday.  It reminded me of something.

When I turned 6, I memorized a poem by A.A. Milne.  Here it is and here’s me at six!

When I was one, I had just begun.
When I was two, I was nearly new.
When I was three, I was hardly me.
When I was four, I was not much more.
When I was five, I was just alive.
But now I am six.  I’m clever as clever.  I think I’ll stay six now forever and ever.
 

I used to run around reciting that one.  Obviously, I did not stay six forever and ever.  And I haven’t used the word clever since then.

So, in honor of today, I’d like to offer some new thoughts.

Our life’s work is like building a tree.  (Stick with me here, I’m working up to something.)

Childhood is the trunk of the tree. It takes years to build a steady, solid base.  The trunk has nicks and cuts on it, it is bruised and worn in parts but it is strong.  “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” really makes sense thinking of it this way.  These are the years we build our character.

Young adulthood is where we build the branches.  Each one jutting out in a different direction based on what we choose.  The branches represent school, dating, marriage, children, career, friendships, faith, and passions.  Each individual tree is shaped differently based on our lives.  Please note, in this young adult area, we may build some branches that need to be pruned later.  Just sayin…

When we are in our 40’s and 50’s, we add the leaves.  We beautify the tree.  We add leaves and flowering buds with our works of charity, our loving, our volunteering, our parenting, our guidance, our accomplishments, our listening, our understanding, our wisdom.  Again, some branches may remain empty depending on our mood when someone asks us to volunteer.  I can just picture it now…my beautiful tree and on the branch that says, PTA, it’s void of any life…not even a bud.

This is the stage where we accept that our tree does not look the same as everyone else’s and we embrace it.  We may even try to stand apart by adding a swing or a hammock.  We may get really crazy and offer ourselves up for a tree house!  We laugh more, accept more, embrace more…we get comfortable.

When we are in our 60’s and above, we enjoy the tree.  We can still add if we want to but by now, we have a beautiful, joyful, nurturing, protecting, loving tree.  We are content to sit in the shade it provides or to lay on the hammock it holds or to swing on its swing.   We have built something real, something solid, something sacred.

If we are lucky and God grants us the gift of more birthdays…we can enjoy the tree for many years.  We can continue pruning (getting rid of the rotten buds like anger or resentment or regret) and taking care of it (with love and gratitude)  so we can leave something beautiful and life giving for future generations.

So, back to the question…am I excited about another birthday?  Heck yes!  I’m getting closer to the part where I lay in the hammock.

Life is good.

age

 

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

- Jeremiah 29:11

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved
photo of tree with swing by brittlift.blogspot.com
photo of me at 6 courtesy of my mom :)
 

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The Gift of Presence

Posted on April 10, 2012 by Sue

It’s my mom’s birthday today.  Happy Birthday Mom!  Love you!

It’s mine next week.

I don’t tell you this so you will shower me with presents or birthday wishes (although that would be lovely).  I tell you this because it has me thinking.

People say, “What do you want for your birthday?”  This is a tough one.  On one hand, there are things I want.  I want world peace and I want everyone to know God and feel His love.  I want no more bullying and I want no more loneliness (mine or others).  I also want the entire Lululemon store….seriously, the entire store.

But here’s the thing…I was taught not to ask for things.  It’s rude.  I was taught that a gift is a gift and if someone wants to give it to you, it is your job to accept it graciously.  You do not expect gifts and if you do not receive a gift, you do not whine or cry or complain.

Now something has gone really wrong in the generational translation (is that even a real term?) of this gift giving/accepting business because my kids ask, beg, expect, and sometimes whine and cry.  Every Christmas I have to threaten a bag of coal to the next ungrateful child that sheds a tear.

I want to change this in my family and it’s frustrating because I feel powerless to do so.   And when I feel powerless, I know that is a challenge for me to actually embrace my power.  If I do not feel it or see it, I need to find it or create it because saying or thinking you are powerless is “utter crap”, according to Jillian Michaels.

When we do that, we are making ourselves into victims and we are not victims.  Or, as my friend says, “Homey don’t play that.”

So, I am harnessing my power to create what I want in my life.  I am going to ask for what I want.  Here goes.

I want the gift of presence.  I don’t want presents.  I want presence.  Get it?

First, I want to be present in my life.  We’ve talked about this before but really, it bears repeating.  I want to seize the moment.  I want to seize the day.  I want to Carpe Diem!!!

Pinned Image

And I want you to gift me with your presence.  Yes, you.  Some of you I don’t know but I feel like I do from the love you send in emails and messages.  Just when I’m wondering if anyone is reading or if I’m just practicing therapy on myself online, I get one of those “God hugs” from a reader, usually in the form of an email or a comment reminding me that we are in this together.  It keeps me going.

For people I see in real life, I also want your presence.  That means I need you.  We need each other.  I need smiles and hugs and pats on the back.  I admit it again, I need words of affirmation.  I long for real conversation and authentic exchanges.  I went out with a friend the other night and she said, “Oh, I’m so glad to go out with you, I don’t have to be fake”.   We laughed and I said, “I know, thank God, right?”  I want every person in my life to be that person I don’t have to be fake with.  I want that to be a given.  Is that too much to ask?

I don’t think it is but here’s the catch.  If I want the gift of presence, I have to give the gift of presence.  On the surface, I have to put down the phone and walk away from Pinterest.  I have to stop, chill, take a load off and just be with my peeps.  Just be.  On the inside, I need to put away my agenda, my bitterness, my grudges, my hurt feelings, my judgment, my distraction, my anxiety, whatever it is…I have to let it go and just be.  I have to listen as I would like to be listened to.  I have to connect.

I’m ready.

I’m not perfect and I’ll need to be reminded which is why it’s a good thing that this is in writing.

Here’s my promise to you.  I will be there for you.  I will be authentic on this blog.  I will tell the truth.  I will do my best to create a community rooted in love and honesty and acceptance.  I will write with presence.

And for the people I see in life, I will strive to be present for you and I will ask you to do the same for me.  (Incidentally, I really hope in this new year to turn some of you that I don’t know yet into people I “see in real life”…I’ve got some really fun plans for us all to “Carpe the Hell out of the Diem” together!)

As birthdays go, 43 isn’t anything special.  But with this new promise, I hope it will be.

I am so looking forward to all the presence!

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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Wander

Posted on April 3, 2012 by Sue

I have been told I have “thought islands”.  My mind wanders.

When it comes to faith, my mind wanders too.  Sometimes it wanders to The Bible and books and blogs.  Sometimes to conversations I have with people about faith.  Sometimes to examples of people I know who have shown great faith in their lives.  Sometimes it wanders to the why? the who? the when? the what the heck? –  to all the questions.  Sometimes it settles on the truth and the promise.

Sometimes I wander into the Catholic church, sometimes I wander into the Evangelical church.  Sometimes I pray alone, sometimes I pray with my family or in my community.

Sometimes I choose a long walk over going to church.  Sometimes I meet God in Bible study and other days I decide to meet him in yoga.  Sometimes I’m in the mood for meditation and sometimes for raucous conversation.

I’ve been known to meet God on a beach with a beer.  I also like to meet him in the mountains in the silence.

I’ve found Him in neighbors offering help, offering food, offering understanding.  I’ve met Him in tragedy.  I’ve found Him in the forgiveness of friends.  I’ve found Him in the quiet acceptance of others.  I’ve met Him in the smiles and tears of my children.

I’ve encountered Him on vacation and then, as always, I have been greeted by Him on my safe arrival home.

He was there in my youth and my teens and my college years and my 20′s.  I wandered.  But was I lost?

I heard a preacher speak about the Prodigal Son again today on the radio.  He talked about the son who stayed home, who was mad when the prodigal son was welcomed home with embraces and kisses and a party.  He was jealous.  The preacher said something profound.  It really hit me.  He said, “The older brother was just as lost as the prodigal son.  He was just lost at home.”

Sometimes we are lost at home.  We are lost in our minds and we can’t get out.  Sometimes we are lost in our habits and our “need to be right” and our learned limitations.  Just because we are home, doing as we are told, following all the rules does not mean that we are on the right path.

Sometimes we need to wander.

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved

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The Gift

Posted on March 27, 2012 by Sue

My mom has always told me, “Faith is a gift”.

I remember her saying this when I was young and then thinking, “Why do some people get the gift and other people don’t?” It didn’t seem fair.

As I’ve gotten older I have begun to see what she means.  Faith is a gift.

St. Paul writes, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not from you; it is the gift of God; it is not from works so one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

God’s grace is a gift.  Everyone gets the gift… but not everyone accepts it.

Accept the gift.

It’s not for some of us.  It’s for all of us.  God doesn’t give His gift to certain groups only.  He doesn’t favor the wealthy or the learned. He doesn’t give His gift only to the Baptists or the Catholics.  He doesn’t give grace only to white people or people who live in the United States.  He doesn’t discriminate.  We do but He doesn’t.

This is good news.  God’s grace does not depend on what I look like or how much money I have or if I sit in the front pew of church.  I don’t have to light candles or say the Rosary or give thousands of dollars to the church.   It doesn’t depend on me.  Thank God.  (Literally.)  Because I would really mess it up.  He doesn’t keep a tally sheet and then hand over grace to the “good” people.

Can you imagine if you actually had to earn your way into heaven?  Please.  There is no way to earn it and we don’t have to.  We just have to believe.

I think we tend to make things more difficult than they are.  Of course, there is more to living a life in Christ than just believing in Him.  But that is the first step.  I think we look for transformation first and then we say we’ll believe in God’s promises as in, “I’ll believe it when I see it”.  We stand back and say “prove it”, “show me”, “give me a sign” but we aren’t ready.  We have to say “yes” first and then the transformation starts happening.  If you want it, it’s there for the taking.  You just have to accept the gift.

If you haven’t yet accepted God’s gift of grace, take another look.

Imagine this… it’s Easter morning and you are really looking forward to the Peeps and the Reese’s Easter eggs and piles of jelly means and peanut m&m’s.  You see the basket and you realize that in addition to all the yummy stuff you can’t wait to eat, there is another gift.  It’s the gift of God’s grace.

The basket is filled with all of the things God’s grace brings to us including love, peace, joy, hope, mercy, forgiveness, redemption, new life.  Our baskets are overflowing!

You stop, you hesitate, you think, “Wait a minute, nothing is free, what do I have to do to get all of this?”

You question, you worry, you think…”Why me?” You wonder, “What’s the catch?”

There is no catch.  God loves you and wants to free you from your fears and worries.  He wants to give you a solid foundation to build your life.  He wants you.  You as you are now…not the “you” that is twenty pounds lighter or a million dollars richer, not the “you” that learns to cook or keeps a perfectly clean house or volunteers more often.  He’s not looking for the “you” that you show the world.  He’s looking for the real you.  He wants all your flaws, all your fears, all your sins, all your doubts.  He is that strong and that loving.

He is offering you a gift.  All you have to do is accept it.

 

©2012 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™ All Rights Reserved
photo from: http://www.livingdevotionally.com.

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Hope and Unlimited Possibilities

Posted on March 19, 2012 by Sue

I am constantly amazed when I hear about people fighting for causes that are near and dear to their hearts.  There are so many people out there taking action to make this a better, more hopeful, more loving world.  I am continually inspired by their courage and tenacity.  Most of these people are just ordinary people – moms, dads, kids, friends, everyday people trying to be the best they can be.   They are ordinary people doing extraordinary things.  They are following God’s call to change the world. 

The other day I was blessed to hear Margie Doyle speak about her mission.  (The beautiful picture above is of Margie and her son Colin.) My heart and soul were moved by her hopeful spirit and her determination to make a difference in the research and treatment of Down Syndrome.  I have asked her if I could post her words here on the blog and she has agreed.  I am honored to share her story with you.  

March 21, 2012 our nation will host the first World Down Syndrome Day at the United Nations. In light of this celebration it seemed the appropriate time to share my mission…. with the underlying hope that others join in…..

While sitting in Mass on Jan 24th, 2011 I listened to our Pastor address the congregation regarding the 38th anniversary of Roe vs Wade……. As troubling as it is to face such truths in life…. as abortion…….. for me on that day I experienced even more heartache and restlessness than in the past………….. My son Colin was in my lap. Colin is my youngest child and was born with Down syndrome……..

We are currently at a crucial juncture for babies with Down syndrome. Since the ability for prenatal diagnosis of this chromosomal anomaly…….92 % of all fetuses with Down syndrome are aborted….As of this month, two California based corporations , Sequenom Inc and Verinata Health intend to offer a new blood test that will reveal the anomaly accurately as early as 8 weeks gestation…. This avenue ….is of course gaining momentum through media and funding……and the likely result will be a further increase in the termination of a fetus with a diagnosis of Down syndrome…… Can you fathom a number higher than 92%…..I certainly can’t……

I wrote to our pastor that day to explain how I was personally troubled by these astounding numbers that I shared with him ….and he indicated his shock and disbelief as well and regarded these statistics I provided as “silent scandals”…………… I told him I needed to find a way to have some impact in this area………… but given the daily demands I was currently under …with a child having special needs and still a baby…. I had no idea what that involvement might be, but that I would remain in touch……

Six months later I saw a path ………and it was very clear…..I certainly don’t know exactly what goes through a person’s mind ….or soul ….at the time when they determine abortion is the solution…but I believe FEAR is THE prominent emotion when it comes to learning your fetus has Down syndrome….Fear of the unknown, and fear from information that is dated and no longer relevant….Fear ….from how many …..in society viewed an individual with Down syndrome a mere 40 yrs ago….

We are all aware of the stance the Catholic Church takes on abortion….I am asking that you, as Mother’s, help me in this effort to change this statistic and ….help me to replace fear ………….with hope…..

Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation (www.dsrtf.org) was founded in 2004 based on the belief that all people with Down syndrome deserve the opportunity to experience their full potential in life, and we fund the research to make this a reality.

– We were founded by parents tired of hearing DS is too complex or too late to treat 

-       the development of treatments to address cognition and prevent the early onset of Alzheimer’s disease which is prevalent in Down syndrome became a possibility with the decoding of the human genome in 2003…..and today there are clinical trials now underway !!

About 400,000 people in theUnited States have Down syndrome, and yet it is significantly underfunded by the government……….. The NIH only provides  $50/person annually…………. that’s as much as 95% less than funding for similar disabilities.

In part because few researchers focused in this area, therefore….few qualified proposals even made it to the National Institutes of Health requesting government funds.

However, today the tools and technology are now available………. and Down syndrome research has RAPIDLY PROGRESSED…. from being too complex and too difficult, to being an interesting and rewarding field of study

Leading researcher of cognitive dysfunction in Down syndrome, Johns Hopkins Professor Roger Reeves remarks, “I never thought….. I would be in a position to say….. we are going to take therapies forward to directly treat Down syndrome……. Now…. I believe this to be the case…… We really are in the early stages of a revolution….. in understanding the basis for many of the features that occur in Down syndrome.”

It can be difficult to find the time, the strength…. and sometimes… courage, to make the “ask” for support……but it pales in comparison to the obstacles our children and loved ones face and push through every day of their life……….. Every morning Colin walks out the door…. with many obstacles my four other children have never encountered… and likely never will in their lifetime….he does so with courage, energy and perseverance…He stands 38 inches tall…..and I am empowered by his fortitude…

 Just Imagine the outcome… when fear is not the dominant emotion……….. but what reigns more powerfully……… in the hearts of those upon learning their unborn child has Down syndrome ….is hope….. and unlimited possibilities’ in their child’s future.

Please support our effort at Down Syndrome Research and Treatment foundation………… and change fear into hope….

Where there is hope …………… there is LIFE….

                                         

Please visit the website for DSRTF (Down Syndrome Research and Treatment Foundation) at http://www.dsrtf.org/  for more information and please continue to pray for a future filled with hope and unlimited possibilities for all of God’s children. 

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