Tag Archives: Prayer

New podcast! 25 in the Rear View – Quarterly Review

 

Hi Friends! Can you believe this? I have recorded 25 episodes of the Great Big YES! podcast!! What??? I figured this monumental occasion required a review…a looking back.  So this one is just me talking, no guest, nothing fancy, just my heart and my gratitude. Also, some silly stories that may or may not have to do with anything. I’m just so grateful to y’all for listening in.  And HUGE shout out to the guests who willingly said YES! to sharing their stories.  I am forever changed by your courage and honesty.  It has been an honor.

I am taking April off from podcasting.  So I figure that is a great time for y’all to catch up on listening!! 🙂 I KNOW there are a million and one podcasts and more coming every day…you are thinking…I don’t have time for this!! My mom said (Hi Mom!) she waits until she has a good block of time to listen so some are in the que.  I get that.  I love a podcast on a walk or a long drive or on the treadmill or maybe in the kitchen if I’m cooking (like that ever happens) or doing dishes (every 3 days or so).  Or feel free to put your feet up, your headphones on and enjoy this one with your cup of coffee or your glass of wine.  Whatever suits you. 🙂

In April, I plan to read, write, listen, sing, dance, draw, study, soak, chill, laugh, celebrate, enjoy and exhale. Isn’t that a good plan? I’ll be traveling a little in real life and probably a lot in my head. I need some dreaming time. How about you? What are you dreaming about? It can’t always be go, go, go, create, create, create.  Sometimes you really need to soak in the world and it’s people and FEEL it. Ya know?

So picture me virtually hugging you.  Like, squishing you and thanking you and smiling so big because I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE I HAVE A PODCAST. But it’s cool. No biggie. As a wise person once said, “Sue, calm down, act like you’ve been in the end zone before.” (I’m in Texas now so football references are all there is. Literally.)

Thanks for listening. Thanks for allowing these stories to change you.  Thanks for making room for the Great Big YES! in your life. I’ve got some ROCKIN’ people coming on in May so take this time to catch up and please join us when we are back.  Let me know what you think, what you want to hear, how God is meeting you here, if you would like to share your story, if you have an idea for a guest, whatever. FILL ME IN FRIENDS. I don’t want to be out here in podcast land like the lone ranger. I wish we could all have a roundtable discussion.  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US. Would it end in song? In Holy Spirit tears? Dancing? What would be your favorite thing to talk about?

I love you. That’s all. I’m grateful. I’ve been changed. Who right now is thinking of Wicked? I am. I have definitely been changed for GOOD.

Praise God. Amen. xoxoxo

 

The Last First Day

Be still my heart.

This is the Last First Day.

My oldest is a senior in high school.  Lord, hold me.

How did we get from this:

 

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To this:

 

 

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It seems impossible yet it’s happening all around me.  Kids are growing up.

Last night I went up to Natalie’s room to tuck her in.  Yes, I still like to tuck her in. That’s normal, right? If not, don’t tell me. It just so happened that the other kids followed me last night. That’s totally normal too, right? Is it also normal that I made her lunch today and I might have suggested some cute earrings and a ponytail?  SHE IS ALMOST EIGHTEEN.  You guys…I cannot cut the cord.  I cannot stop.  Seriously, send help.

So there we are, all three kids and mom, snuggling in her bed, tucking her in.  As a mom, I was in heaven.  ALL MY BABIES WITH ME. You guys…I could not help it. I started crying and talking about when she was young and how much I love her and all the feelings and thoughts.  She smiled and patted me, “It’s okay Mom.” “I know Mom.” “Don’t worry, Mom.”

We talked about how it’s the last of the family years. You know, the ones you look back on and say, “Remember when…” Those memories of all the kids in the house, of all the chaos and the mess and the laughter.  I just kept going on and on.  I think they were just stunned, staring at me and murmuring, “It’s going to be okay Mom”.  But yet, they didn’t leave.  They didn’t run out or tell me I’m lame or look at their phones.   They listened.  They let me have my moment. And then a miracle happened.  They let me pray. For them. For me. For dad. For all the moms and kids and teachers and all the world. Amen.

Everything is changing.

But not yet.

We’ve got this year.

I keep reminding myself that with endings come new beginnings and I love new beginnings.  I remember so vividly when it was just me and Natalie during the early days when her Dad went to work and the others weren’t born yet. Just us.  I made mistakes with her. I was lost and confused and usually clueless and she stuck with me.  She didn’t have a choice of course. Where was she going to go?  Plus she didn’t know all mothers didn’t cut grapes into quarters because they were afraid of choking and she didn’t know or care if our house was messy or if I was messy.  I pushed her in the stroller and I took her to the park and I read books to her and we met friends together. We were figuring it out.  I can’t help but think she has a different understanding of me…one only the oldest child can have…from the days when it was just us and we were together in that new beginning.  She was so trusting.  Can you stand it? I mean, aren’t you just so HONORED to be in this?  I’m in awe of this motherhood thing.

Crying again…gotta go.

Praying for all you moms who are feeling all the feelings today.  Let’s vow to treasure the gift of our kids…whenever and however we can for as long as we can.

These are the days we will remember.

©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved

 

 

 

 

A Mother’s Prayer

 

She woke up today with a heavy heart.

Anxiety pierced her chest.

Slushing through the breakfast routine she wondered why.

Fell asleep reading a book about minors being stolen and trafficked.

Could wreak havoc on even the most hopeful mind.

Studying, learning, praying, demanding some sort of safe haven for these sweet souls bought and sold. Bought and sold. Mercy Lord. Your daughters and sons. Like property.

Her stomach hurts and she considers going back to bed. 

Nagging uncomfortable feeling persists and she remembers more.

Good people she knows looking for son. He’s lost. Find him Lord.

Other mothers that are dear mourn their lost children.

Friends struggle through teaching right and wrong. Boundaries. You are worthy. You are loved.

This too shall pass.

It will be better in the morning.

Except when it’s not.

I was told motherhood is the great equalizer and that is true. You pray for me I’ll pray for you.

It’s all we can do really.

Money, connections, family, friends, education, they don’t guarantee anything.

It’s a rocky road we travel. It’s an unsteady balance beam and we can’t strut here.

We walk tentatively. We focus our gaze.On you Lord.

Light.

Like Peter we lose focus, we look away. We fall. This reminds us to look at you again. We regain balance.

Only you know Lord. And you love us. You love our kids more than we do. Although I can’t imagine.

We read books and we share what we know and we love and we hold and we pray.

We tuck in and we snuggle and we laugh and we do homework and make sandwiches and drive and text and call and do laundry.

We cheer from the stands and we cry in cars alone. We buy things and fix things and anxiously await results.

We teach and we hug and we provide and we pray some more.

Lord, protect my baby.

Stay right there beside him even when he’s six feet tall.

Don’t ever leave her.

Remind him who he is when he forgets.

Love her when I’m not there Lord.

Have his back.

Guard her heart.

I’m sorry for complaining when I was tired or angry or hungry or lonely.

Lord, this gift. This gift.

Thank you. 

 

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©2015 Sue Bidstrup, Great Big Yes™, All Rights Reserved